Struggling to cope with possible autism diagnosis

[NeverSurrender]

My preteen dd is likely going to be diagnosed with autism. She is very intelligent but struggles emotionally. Looking back it has been evident for a long time but since starting secondary it has become blindingly obvious. Speevh&language have referred her to a paediatrician.
I'm really struggling with it and feel anxious and depressed. I'm close to tears all the time. I'm strong for her but fall apart in private. I'm struggling to come to terms with it although I've had suspicions for a long time, hearing professionals (teachers, health visitor, social worker and speech therapist) say it is a possibility has devastated me.

There are lots of books on supporting children with Autism,so read as much as you can, maintain calm confidence and try to stop seeing it as such a bad thing, because that will hit her confidence more.
I'm Aspie but I doubt my parents had ever heard of Autism. I had a bad speech impediment caused in part by the approach my father took.
It all improved when I went to a small fantastic school, academically selective, which meant I wasn't the only one. I had teachers whose calm support and ability to see the positive, made all the difference.
I've managed a proper career, my own home, I have a wonderful son and while I'll never have a huge circle of friends, I have a small number of close friends and life is good. I don't see my autism as a handicap.

So please don't see this as a disaster. With your support it may have minimal impact. Honestly, you both will be fine.

Don't stress, this is a very normal reaction. My Ds aged 12 was DX last year. Although I was expecting it, it was very difficult to read all the medical reports which spelled it out quite bluntly. At the time I could have burst into tears at any moment. It took a good month or so to get my head round it. I've come to realise that having the label is good in a lot of ways. It opens many doors for support that was previously closed. School now has a legal obligation to support my son, when his previous social difficulties were put down to him having "low resilience". Hang in there, your feelings will pass.

You know your child best, is surprising how natural parenting has came to you, why should a diagnosis make any difference, I have 3 children with autism, we have a strong link in the family, theirs my little weirdos an they make us so proud, each one is different, not every child with autism is the same, and can have different traits they struggle with, your daughters sounds similar to mine, hers is emotionally and anxiety, I even had to remove her from school last year to home school her while we get the right support for her. My advice is make a diary of her strengths and weaknesses, I did this with my 3 children, it's nice looking back how they have overcome things, there are plenty of workshops available with advanced solutions, and Isabella trust etc, you will meet other parents and honestly you will learn you are not alone but these work shops help, you can even ring them for advice, I felt the same when my first child was diagnosed, then now I actually feel relieved they got all the support they need, my youngest however is much worse and I'm faced with new challenges with him, but he is going to an autistic school in September so I know he will get the best for his needs. Pm me anytime