condolences in German. Does this sound ok?

[SSShakeTheChi]

Our teacher's husband sadly passed away and I wanted to leave a card but I'm not sure how to write something personal and get it sounding right. Does this sound cold or formal to you?

"Liebe Frau X,
wir waren sehr betroffen, als wir von Ihrem schmerzlichen Verlust erfuhren. Unsere Gedanken und Gebete sind bei Ihnen und Ihrer Familie in dieser schwierigen Zeit. Im tiefen Mitgefühl "

Thanks

I mailed you !

Sounds fine to me, SSS. Quite formal, but I'm guessing that's what you were after.

Maybe any of the German mums on here could say if it's the done thing to send a card like that? I know at dh's Doktorvater's funeral everyone signed a book and all the alumni's abroad sent condolences to be put in a book for the wife and she didn't have anything at all to do with his career and work so none of them knew her.

Sounds absolutely fine to me.
It is a bit formal, but it is quite difficult in German to get the balance right. Germans are usually pretty restrained in their condolence cards.

Admylin,

it's fine to send a card. In this case there could be a joined effort from the class, I suppose.
When my Diplomvater died, I wrote a card to his wife (who I knew well beacause she was a technician in the lab) and there was also a book for the people who could make it to the funeral.

Thanks for your help everyone! It's hard to judge sometimes how you sound in another language. Think I didn't get it quite right. Admylin, thanks for the mails too.

Gracelo and Frogs, actually I really DIDN'T want to sound formal but it is so difficult to avoid stilted sounded phrases with these kind of situations and since I never met the husband and don't know the teacher very well, I couldn't think of anything more personal to write. Actually TBH I find it hard to write condolences in English too.

I'd prefer the card to sound personal and caring rather than too formal without getting too sentimental or corny so I'll rethink it a bit and have another go. Thanks for the advice.

SSS, anything beginning, "Es tut uns sehr Leid" would sound less formal but no less sincere. Eg. "Liebe Frau Sowieso, Es tut uns sehr Leid, von dem Verlust [oder: dem Tode] Ihres Mannes zu hören". The second sentence is fine as it is.

I wouldn't worry too much, as a foreigner it's better to err on the side of too formal than too informal. I'm sure she will appreciate your thoughts more than worry about the stylistics.

oh thanks very much frogs That does sound more natural as if you mean it rather than you're just using set phrases. I find that much better.