Hello. I’m after a little advice or even reassurance I’m not alone!
My 4 month old daughter was born 3 weeks premature due to me having severe pre eclampsia and she suffered a few things such a tongue tie which was not diagnosed and fixed till she was 9 weeks old, as well as reflux, colic etc. She cried virtually non stop for 12+ hours a day from 5 weeks until she was about 12 weeks old.
Now all of this has been resolved she is a generally happy and giggly little baby, provided she is at home with me and my husband. However, possibly as a developed coping mechanism from crying so much in her early life, she gets very upset and cries pretty inconsolably if we either take her out, to other peoples houses or even have people over to the house. If we go to baby classes she cries almost all the way through to the point where it becomes quite disruptive for the other mums and she gets very upset if we pass her to other people. Sometimes she will get herself into such a state that she starts to cough or choke from such excessive crying and the only resolution is to take her home. It makes going anywhere a huge challenge and causes a lot of stress. Her crying also goes from 0 to 100 to 0 in a matter of seconds regardless of whether we are at home or out; a slight whine will in no time turn into a full blown scream with no clear reason and then resolve itself just as unexpectedly so I’m always on tenterhooks when I’m out.
Has anyone else experienced anything similar and do you have any advice or just some assurance that this phase will end!!! Should I just persist in the hope that she gets used to being out and about? She’s so lovely and has absolutely bags of personality, she just seems scared by everything that is not our home and us and her method of coping is extreme. It makes me so sad that she finds so many things so upsetting and I’m sad that other people, including grandparents, don’t get to enjoy how wonderful she is because she’s too busy screaming at them!
I love her so much but also I’m completely drained. We don’t live near any family and my husband works full time so either I stay in on my own all the time so she’s happy or I go out and cope with constant crying / screaming. I have met lots of mums in my local area but no one has a baby like her so it’s also quite upsetting seeing mothers with settled, content babies of the same age when she is so unhappy and high needs when out and about. I generally try to put on a front and laugh it off but it’s very hard and I’m starting to worry that I’m doing something wrong. It is also hard not to get really flustered when it happens in public which of course has a knock on effect on her.
For info: I carry her in a sling as she refuses to sit in a pram for any length of time but she will not be in the sling for long unless she’s napping. She is exclusively breast fed. She is a bad napper and will only be carried to sleep but she does generally sleep well at night with only a couple of wakings for a quick feed.