Leaving children unattended

[likeazebra]

I want to get an idea of people's opinions please. My childcare arrangements have fallen through and I'm going away for a few days early next year. I can't decide whether to cancel or if I'm being over cautious.

3 DC ages 17, 14 and 11. They will be cared for overnight by DH but with travel and work etc will be alone from 5am ish until 7pm ish is this unreasonable or am I ok asking my oldest DC to care for the siblings?

Is the 17 year old responsible sort? I.e they won’t just go off with their friends?

Can dh book some annual leave in? Even just some half days?

Yes, they will be fine. They won’t be alone overnight and many 17yr olds are looking after their own children. At their age I’m surprised you still have childcare.

Totally depends on how 17 year old feels about it i guess? Would they be up for the responsibility?

Won't go off with friends and if I said no friends round that would be stuck too, can't guarantee it won't be computer games all day though!

I can trust all three but am worried about them not being seen by an adult in the morning and therefore from bedtime until the following evening. DH will not wake them before leaving for work I know that for sure.

You and dh can both phone them regularly though?

That's an awful lot of responsibility for a 17-year-old. No, I don't think I could relax or enjoy myself if I was leaving them alone for 14 hours a day - it's too much. Is there really no-one who could pop in or who the younger two, at least, could stay with? If the answer is no then would cancel.

Not ok in my opinion. Sorry, but you did ask!

Is this in the holidays or will they be going to school?

Hi OP do you have a close neighbour who could keep an eye on them?

Will they not be at school during the day? So really it’s just breakfast time and dinner time. Will your DH be there if there is an emergency? If yes then I’d say they would be fine.

So the 17yo would need to make sure they are all up and out to school, and be there when they get home. And feed them.

Its too much.

Probably too long.
Obvs your th is there overnight, but if he leaves at 5am it means the 11 year old doesn't see him from bedtime till the following eve at 7pm.

How many days/nights are you away?
Is this in holidays or school time?

Could your DH start work a bit later for a few days so he has breakfast with them?

I wanted honest opinions so no need to apologise!

DH is adamant they will be fine, no annual leave etc. The childcare was for the younger two as I would leave the 17 year old alone during the days.

I cared for younger siblings on many occasions and whilst it didn't do me any harm I do remember being on edge when it was for extended periods.

I can adjust one day so I can leave in the afternoon therefore it would be two long days and yes I would be able to contact by phone.

I know how sensible they all can be however worry if something did go wrong it's a lot of responsibility on the other's shoulders.

Sorry just re read your post re not seeing dh from bed till the next eve

Assuming 17 is competent and willing - go for it.

No school as they don't go back until much later. We have neighbours who would happily pop in and I could possibly arrange for Grandparents to call in but they wouldn't be free to stay due to other commitments.

I'm only considering this as would be letting friends down and I hate letting people down however the length of time bothers me.

I think it's fine, since you can contact them and you said they are quite responsible.

When I was 17 I looked after my younger brothers for a week. My DM booked a once in a lifetime trip with the understanding that my father (her ex) would have us. He cancelled on her at the last minute. A friend checked in on us from time to time but we were fine. My brothers were 12 & 13.

My father never checked in on us, btw! Such a charmer.

It’s fine but I would pay the 17 year old-possibly afterwards. I would completely trust my babysitter to do this-and arrange people to pop in.

I would be fine with this, but only if other adults were there as a back-up plan to be called in emergencies, I'd ask the neighbours to pop in and the grandparents once or twice and leave a long list of numbers.

They are being cared for from 7pm in the evening and in the mornings you won't see them for dust anyway.

No childcare is going to take a 17 or a 14 year old, even an 11 is quite hard to place! And from 5am it's not possible. I'm sure your neighbour or grandparent's don't want to have three teens to stay for a week and that may not even be possible.

This is fine if the children are fine with it, with appropriate emergency back-up. I actually can't see any alternatives anyway.

17? Of course you can. Loads of 17 years olds are away at uni. If the kids get on they'll probably have an amazing day of computer games, rubbish food, etc. Maybe let the 17 year old have one sensible friend left as a babysitting pal?

They'll be fine, OP. I'd (probably wrongly) say that the younger two would be fine left for that long, and with the addition of the 17 year old there's no need to worry.

What time do your children wake up? They will probably hardly notice if they wake up at lunchtime and play computer games for a couple of hours? Will your OH be home in time to make sure they've got an adequate dinner the following night?

If they get on well and are sensible and happy with the idea themselves then absolutely fine. If not, not.