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Managing toddler with baby is so hard

3 replies

Chloris33 · 28/12/2017 18:09

Finding it really hard at the mo. Have almost 3 year old, and a 3 month old baby. Baby was in hospital extremely poorly first month after birth and had to have major surgery at one week old. She's doing well now, but I find it really challenging managing my extremely spirited and very demanding toddler while meeting baby's needs. I want to be compassionate and patient with my toddler, I know it's been a lot for him to go through too, but I find it so hard not to get irritable with him. He's defiant and so shouty so much of the time. I wish I had some more one to one with him, but it's really hard with breastfeeding baby. During term time he goes to preschool 3x a week, but we're now in 3 week break and I feel like crying a lot of the time, it's so hard, and the house is insanely messy ALL the time. DH helps where he can, especially with toddler, but he is also incredibly messy. Hoping it'll get better!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BeakyPlinder · 28/12/2017 18:26

It will get easier and you are doing an amazing job. X

tuttifritti · 28/12/2017 18:31

I promise it will get easier.

It helped me to relax my standards, limit play dates which I found more stressful than managing boredom, depend on the tv more and using a sling around the house so I could do jigsaws and activities with my toddler while the baby slumbered.

Yellowmaiden · 28/12/2017 18:32

I hear you. Yes it is insanely hard, you're not the only one and im sure you're doing a really wonderful job. Yes it DOES get better. Notably at 3-4 months when the baby stops feeding/pooing/being sick so frequently and has more regular and predictable naps. I have 3 kids (first two with same age gap as you) and with the 2nd and 3rd I forgot both times that it really does get easier at that stage.

I also had a very loud and boisterous firstborn who had no interest in getting involved with the baby like ppl always suggest. Its very draining, physically (the baby) and emotionally (the older one!). However once the youngest could walk and play properly they started to entertain each other and life became a lot easier. Hang on in there....take each day at a time, accept whatever help is on offer (especially if anyone offers to feed you toddler on a playdate for example!) and know that you WILL survive this!!

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