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complaining

1 reply

doombomb · 28/12/2017 13:46

We all find parenting really difficult at times. I am part of a supportive group of whom all have children. We met in an antenatal class and have stayed in touch. Our DCs are now 5 y/o and most of us have more than one child.
I don't want to come across judgemental and bitchy, but one lady in the group is such a complainer and yet she seems to have it together better than the rest of us. Every minor detail is aired to us all, difficulties that we all face day in day out with young children.
2 of us have children who have been frequently ill since birth with glue ear/ asthma/associated infections, both have been admitted to hospital on occasions and we trudge on. But every obstacle seems to become quite a drama for this friend and I can't shake the feeling that she doesn't have much empathy for other mums who are struggling with larger problems as she's always so immersed in her own.
There is always a negative outlook for all that happens and I guess I've become so used to the complaints that if there were something serious to happen, I'm not sure I'd initially take it very seriously.
It's quite frustrating to hear the constant complaining....she has had a tough time on occasions. But she appears to really have it together too. She looks well, somehow makes time for a fitness regime, she has her children in a better routine than most of us, has finances in good order, receives help from family and the children are in good health much of the time. Also, she tends to ignore advice and continue doing her own thing anyway, then continue complaining about it.

I don't want to discuss this with the others in our group as it wouldn't be kind and we don't discuss each other as we try to be supportive, but the complaining is now really making me frustrated with this friend. I guess I'm not sure what I'm looking for from MN other than to express my frustration safely. Has anyone else ever experienced this and found a way to feel less frustrated and more empathetic?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
user1493413286 · 28/12/2017 16:36

It sounds like she finds the difficulties of parenting that much more difficult and is looking for understanding from others.
I get that it’s frustrating when you offer solutions to people and they don’t take them then continue to complain but it does sound like she just finds it all very tough.
Some of the things I complain about are just part of being a parent and I feel disappointed in myself that I don’t cope with them as well as I expected or others do.
I think it’s easy to say she has it more together but often you don’t really know what it’s like for someone.

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