Struggling with ex wife

[Snowflake76]

Hi, I really need some help here as I'm at the end of my patience.

My other half has been to collect his young daughters today from his ex. She is very hostile to him but so far things have usually worked out ok when they were picked up. He lives a long way away so only sees them during school holidays.
Today was just heartbreaking. He drove to collect them and when they didn't want to go, she offered no words of encouragement. Just told them they didn't need to if they didn't want to.
He has driven back home with no hope of giving them presents for Christmas and his family will not see them.
I just don't know what to suggest.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?

How old are the dcs?

The resident parent should always allow access but should not be expected to force dcs to go if they don't want to.
It's a difficult situation. Does your dp not talk to his daughters over the phone or over Skype?
Has he not seen his daughters since the summer holidays? If Dds are young, they may not really remember him very well or may be shy.
why not go to their town for a weekend sometimes and take them out for cinema/ bowling/pizza. Build up their relationship gradually so they will be happy to come & stay at Easter.

Can he move closer? She’s obliged to make them available for contact but not to force them I’m afraid. I’d never stop DS1 going to see his dad but I wouldn’t force it either.

Why do they live so far away? Can this not be changed?

Far away due to work and her telling him to move away after they split.
They are only young, only 7 years old. She's already said he can't see them if I'm there, which I've agreed to for now even though we've been seeing eachother since the summer.
I just know she's not even encouraging them to go which is heartbreaking for my other half.

She's already said he can't see them if I'm there, which I've agreed to for now even though we've been seeing eachother since the summer

You’ve been around 5 minutes, stay out of it.

She told him to move away......and he did??? And so far away that he only sees them during holidays?

She's already said he can't see them if I'm there, which I've agreed to for now even though we've been seeing eachother since the summer.

So you’ve been seeing him less than 6 months? You really need to step right back. This isn’t anything to do with you. She shouldn’t even need to say that you can’t Be there! Youre a girlfriend of a few months, it’s common sense that you should have nothing to do with their Christmas together with their father! Have they even met you?

I'm not part of their Christmas. I haven't even met them and I've agreed to that. My worry is on his behalf not mine.

This is a boyfriend of a few months old. Step back. Seriously. Why do so many women rush to get involved with the dynamics of a new boyfriends relationship with his children. You’ve been on the scene minutes compared to the long established relationship with his ex and children. You have no idea of the real situation. Leave him to sort it out himself.

If he’s willingly moved miles away from his kids, is painting her as the “psycho ex” and making it all about him, do yourself a favour and run. Does he pay maintenance?

Although I very much agree that it's early days with this man and staying out of it is advisable, I think everyone has been a bit quick to point that out and focus on it. You've not met his children and aren't actually involving yourself at all, you're asking advice and there's nothing wrong with that.

I think the fact he's told you he moved away because she told him to would start alarm bells ringing for me. I remember my ex painting his ex as the nutty ex, now it's me being painted as such. They're two sides to everything so all I'm saying is don't take his word for it. It sounds messy, think carefully about your relationship with this man x