I want to feel normal!

[rainbowgirl2016]

Hi.

Just wanting some advice if anyone could help?

Bit of background info.. My husband and I have been together for 8 years, married for 6 years. We have a nearly 5 year old daughter and a 2 week old daughter. We love each other very much and he is the most amazing husband/dad I could ever ask for. He is my rock and has helped me through so much.. We had a miscarriage last year and I couldn't have got through it if it hadn't been for him. The thing is, since I gave birth 2 weeks ago, I feel a bit lonely and I don't know what to do. I know it's stupid because I know things are so busy at the moment whilst we try to get a routine going and I know things change a bit when a child comes along. Our 2 week old struggles to settle on a night so we are up quite a lot with her (and I really mean we are both up.. hubby does night feeds too and he doesn't just sleep!) I feel awful as he helps me so much but im feeling quite down about things. I was quite poorly in pregnancy and have lost a lot of weight but I still feel massive and so ugly. I feel like I'm missing us a couple, even though we haven't been apart since our LG was born! I know I can't have sex at the moment and I don't really want to as still feel very sore and bleeding a lot but I miss it and I miss being close with him. I'm not really sure what the point of this post is but I just feel bleh! X

The best thing to do is show dh your post!!
Communication is the key in the early days as dps imo!
Congratulations on the baby, remember its all new to him too!!

I hadn't thought about showing him the post. Maybe I should as I'm not very good when it comes to things like this! Thank you. X

Just think on you are a team at this parenting lark!! Pointless keeping your worrying from him when you both want the best for your baby and each other!! Sounds like he has started off on good footing helping during the night!! Feeling unsexy and pretty manky with the bleeding is normal!! Cuddling close is just as nice and helpful for bonding with dh not just the baby!! Wishing you all well!!

Aw thank you for your advice x

You've got a two week old baby! Go easy on yourself! Your hormones will be all over the place, your body is recovering, you're sleep deprived and and and. Could it also be that the birth has dredged up the sadness from losing your previous baby?

I really think there is too much pressure on women nowadays to look and feel fantastic days after giving birth (or at least pretend to). It's utter bullshit! I live in Germany and here it's considered important for women to spend the first six weeks (yes weeks!) after the birth resting and recovering. You've just spent nine months growing a human being, give yourself a little time. You have a great husband by the sound of if, let him know how you feel and I'm sure he'll be understanding and you'll feel better for having got it off your chest.

Thank you Chloe. Yes I think it has brought back a lot of memories, definitely for me anyway. I do find myself looking at my LG and wondering about the one we lost. But im so lucky to have her and my eldest too so i do try to 'snap out of it!'

I totally agree that there is so much pressure to look good afterwards. I was quite big before being poorly and although i lost during pregnancy, I feel huge still and I'm paranoid of someone asking when the baby is due! If that makes sense?! But yes maybe I shouldn't be too hard on myself. Hubby is great, I really couldn't ask for anyone else! Thank you for your advice. X