Can you undo the causes of too much screen time?

[Sofshiz]

I'm sorry if my post appears as all over the place. I am essentially writing as I think.

My dd who is 3years old has always been very bright and has an excellent memory. I was able to teach her all kinds of stuff from a young age and she'd remember well.pointing to 25+ countries on a map at 20 months, colours, shapes, etc etc. I always made an effort to spend time doing lots of different activities whether it was crafting or feeding ducks at the park, being around family or reading (tonnes) of books daily.

At the same time, I did let her watch baby YouTube videos of nursery songs etc from quite a young age (8/9months) and now feel massively at blame and guilty about that.

She is now 3 yrs 3months and some times she seems to lack focus and doesn't pay attention to what I'm saying. Some who I've explained this to have said it could be she's having abcenses as she does seem to be in a daze for 10 seconds every now and then but does respond if you ask her a question so isn't completely out of it.

Doing the typical thing of Googling has led me to conclusions that she could have Epilepsy or even ADD and those could be caused by too much screen time.

Obviously she's had no assessment for anything yet because this is just me going through the thought process.

But my question is, was I wrong to allow iPad/YouTube so young and am I too late in trying to undo that?

She's happy, bright and intelligent and seems normal in lots of ways. Doesn't have social or communication issue (bar the fact that she doesn't always look at you in the eye when she talks).

Just sometimes she does things that make me wonder. 8/10 times she'd finish a puzzle but the two times she doesn't want to or loses focus gets me thinking. But am I just reading into things.

Is this just normal 3 year olds being interested in what they enjoy and not so interested in things less interesting?

I'm suffering with quite bad anxiety following dd2 so not sure if it's all in my head or not.

She sounds very like my 3 year old DS. Please try not to worry.

My 3.5 yr old will very often lose interest in something halfway and quite often appear not to be listening. I am not in the slightest worried about her.
This is your anxiety talking. You have not damaged her by letting her watch nursery rhymes.
Hugs for you OP

ADD and epilepsy are not caused by too much screen time. The only websites which claim this are usually quack sites, you won't find any reputable medical journals stating this as the evidence says the opposite.

It is very common for 3 year olds to suddenly decide not to listen or pay attention, it's because they've just realised that they actually have the ability to do what THEY want rather than believing that adults are the only source of entertainment in the world! :)

There is certainly no harm in cutting down on screen time and I do tend to find a correlation where less screen time = better behaviour overall, but at the same time, TV isn't evil or harmful as long as it's not coming at the expense of ever interacting with your child - if you do need to use TV to give yourself a break, it's nothing to feel guilty or worried about.

If you are concerned she is having seizures then take her to your GP to get checked over, but again to me, it sounds like totally normal 3 year old behaviour, not like an absence seizure - 3 year olds are really easily distracted.

She sounds normal for her age.
Epilepsy has neurological causes. It's wrong to suggest that looking at a screen can cause the development of epilepsy.

Gosh, don’t worry! My DS performed similarly impressive feats of memory from a young age and came across as unusually bright. He used to do huge puzzles and would focus on them for ages.

Then when he turned 3, he stopped bothering with puzzles so much and his focus seemed to be poorer. For a time, I convinced myself he’d regressed. What actually happened is that he found new interests - just ones that were not so obviously ‘academic’. When he would drift off, he was thinking over things and didn’t appreciate me interrupting his thought process. As for ignoring me, he was simply coming to recognise that I was not necessarily the font of all wisdom and moreover, that anything I told him was likely to get repeated at a later stage anyway, so it was no biggie if he missed it.

It was slightly irritating not to have this little person hanging on to every single word I said anymore!

So, don’t worry. Mine is now not far off 8 and has continued to follow his early trajectory, at school at least. At home he continues to not to give me 100% focus unless I’m talking about Lego or sport or farting. He has perfected a way of saying ‘yes, yes’, nodding and looking at me in the eye while clearly thinking about something else!

Despite this, he is still just as lovely and fun and rewarding as when he was really little, though

Your DD sounds fine and screen time has nothing to do with this at all. Please don’t be anxious about it any more.

She's only 3. Her attention span won't be as long as yours or mine. Maybe you should take the pressure off of both of you, stop over thinking and just let her enjoy being a normal little girl. She sounds lovely

Screens do not cause ADHD or epilepsy. ADHD can not be reliably assessed until age 6 (unless very severe) for exactly the reason that young children have naturally poor attention spans. Your daughter sounds normal and lovely. Have you sought help for managing anxiety? It sounds like you’re having a tough time and could do with some support xx

I could cry of happiness from all your feedbacks. I feel so sad yo constantly be worrying about her and putting such a unnecessary dark shadow of her beautiful childhood. Thank you. I will try to just let her be and get help for my anxiety instead as I'm starting to feel more certain that it's me not her.

for you. You sound like a brilliant mother, your Dd sounds brilliant and I’m glad you seem to know deep down this is nothing to do with screen time and is just your anxiety talking.
Have a lovely Christmas with your little ones.

That sounds like the best thing to do, I do hope you get the peace you seek OP.

She sounds like a very normal child - but you sound very anxious. I am a very anxious person too but have learnt to lighten up over the years. I try to model myself on my friend who is a very laid back parent - her kids eat a bit of junk and watch lots of TV but also go out to the park lots and do lots of activities. There is no guilt over the kids getting up early on Saturday and watching loads of cartoons. Her children are happy and bright and relaxed. My SIL's children had the TV on morning until night and would watch loads inbetween drifting off for a bit of play - they all turned out to be bright, well-adjusted teenagers.