What age did you admit FatherChristmas isn't real?

[Northernlassie1974]

So, my 6.5 year old looked me in the eye the other day and said 'mummy, are you telling me the truth? Is Santa really real?' She caught me unawares and I kind of mumbled about why is she asking and skirted around it (handled it badly!!!) I wasn't prepared for this! Never really thought about it, but I am lying to her! I didn't know whether I should 'come clean' or try to keep it real for as long as possible! 6 seems too young to me, but she's not stupid and don't know if next year I can 'get away with it!
Honestly, I want her to believe as long as possible! feels like it will be 'magical' for longer.
However, I've also read a bit on it and there are many articles Saying the time to 'come clean' is when they ask!
Anyway, I'm wondering what the 'average age' is that mumsnetters told their children? What were subsequent christmasses like? In truth, I don't remember Christmas being any less exciting for me once I knew the truth but think I was about 9 when my parents begrudgingly admitted! I know she's sceptical and it's going to come up again! Am I wrong to continue lying and making her believe?! Or would I be wrong to tell her the truth?!

We have never acknowledged any suggestion that Father Christmas might be a ruse. We’ve talked about the magic changing and they all understand that now but absolutely he’ll be visiting on Christmas morning in the early hours.

I'm hoping some version of this approach works when the time comes with my DS www.upworthy.com/theres-a-brilliant-heartfelt-way-to-tell-your-kids-the-truth-about-santa-take-notes

Yes! I'd seen that! Has anyone done it???

Of course you won't be wrong to tell her the truth, OP. And fudging and prevaricating a bit sounds sensible, since I imagine it's not the right time to come out with "no, Santa isn't real" a few days before Christmas.

I've never told my kids Santa is real - I said things like "it's fun to imagine he's real" when they were little, and we all pretend happily we believe in him in December, whilst knowing really that we don't. I liken it to the suspension of disbelief that we experience when we watch a film - we all know it's only actors, but we feel their emotions and care about them nonetheless.

So once your DD totally realises the truth (and she may have already) I don't believe it will spoil her enjoyment of Christmas.

Exactly the same as crumbs1
You have to believe (haven't you watched 'Elf' ?)

It does backfire though, as, I did try to finish 'stockings' once my dc got over 18, but they reckon Father Christmas should still bring them.

When my 8yo ds has asked I turn it round & say flippantly, well what else do you think happens?

Cue 'you & daddy buy presents?'

'Really? When on earth do you think I have spare time to go & buy a load of presents & daddy practically never even goes to the shops so I doubt he'd be doing anything'

By this stage he usually retreats-it's only happened a couple of times &
So far I haven't outright lied but I think this might be the last year we get out of him

Found out that a couple of friends have had an issue this year as one doesn't lie at all, so her dc know there is no Santa but then blurbed to all the class causing a bit of chaos amongst everyone. I understand both sides as I like them to believe in the magic while they're wee & there are some times where fact is stranger than fiction but can understand the importance of not lying to dc too.

Who says he isn't?

DH and I have just been talking about whether 9 yo DD still believes. She definitely wavered a bit last year and I took her to one side and said she can ask me all the questions she likes, but please not to do it in front of her younger brother. This year we had an elf on the shelf visit for the first time and she's loved the antics they've got up to so seems to have given her some extra believing time. She's genuinely gutted the elves are leaving tonight.

I think really deep down she doesn't believe, but she appreciates the magic and concept so is caught up in the spirit of it all.

I love the idea of becoming a Santa from the article posted above, may try and transition in this direction next year...

What questions did you ask and how did you answer them?

*she ask

Ds questioned from age 6 and we admitted it was us about age 8.

My oldest asked directly at 8yo. I replied "Do you really want to know?" She shook her head and ran off, we haven't discussed it in the last three years, lol.

I am pretty sure our oldest three don't believe but our youngest at 5yo is a true believer and has taken to shouting "Santa a is real !" at regular intervals. Bless her :)

She written him a letter and gone to bed, think I've still got a believer this year!

My son is 10 1/2 & he still believes, which is wonderful for me, but he will be starting at secondary school in September & I would hate for him to be bullied because he still believes in Father Christmas.
My husband & I have already decided to tell him the truth before next Christmas

At 6 we knew most things about sex so certainly had worked out Father Christmas was your parents.Probably at about 5.

DD was 9. She was reading a book about Saint Nicholas and asked if Saint Nicholas is dead does that mean Father Christmas isn't real? We then had a nice discussion about the magic of Christmas etc etc but I admitted it was me who bought the presents...

We never started the FC nonsense.

I told mine when she was 8, first time she asked if he was real, and we'll he isn't so I told her the truth.

I have an 8 year old who still doesn't seem to have twigged but a somewhat sceptical 6 year old. Have skirted around it this year but nobody really wanted to go and see Santa for the first time this year so I think it will be our last one.

When dd said "x said its just your mum and dad who bring the presents" I said there had been rumours like that when I was at school too.
Dd has asked but still want ts to believe. Ds asked and wanted to know, so he was told the truth

My six year old asked me this year too. I was gutted. He’s a very literal thinker though and I just don’t think he can imagine how Santa could possibly get around the world.

DD1 asked the same last year at 6.5yrs and I told her the truth. She was happy that I didn't lie to her and promised to keep the secret. If your child has any element of critical thinking, they will want you to reassure them that their rational thought process is indeed correct. BTW, we still wrote a note to Santa and left brandy, carrots etc tonight - she's still super excited and there's still plenty of magic!

I told them I don’t believe but I said many does. Same answer when she asks about Jesus. I use words like stories and some people believe. And that it is rude to tell anyone that they aren’t real. I use the same line for the tooth fairy by the way.

But also that it does not matter if mummy believes because I don’t get presents from Santa.