How do you do anything with preschool children?

[Tortycat]

Dc are 3 and 1 and i need some tips for how to get other things eg housework done. I just cant get on top of my life/ house etc. 3 yr old rarely naps (if he does its a nightmare getting him to sleep at night). 1 yr old will only nap for 30-40 mins per day, often in the car (and won't transfer). He also wakes x2 at night so I'm always tired. I've gone back to work 2 days when they go to nursery, but neither are happy so i dont want to put them in for extra. No family nearby to help, and i also have to help df who is local but has dementia. Dh works full time, but does help at home (could do more but doesn't)

I just cant get on top of jobs. My standards are quite low but the mess is starting to get me down and i spend ages looking for lost things which compounds things. We're lucky to have a large house and garden but it means a lot of work. Examples - house is a tip, presents arnt wrapped, fresh food shop not done and not ordered a turkey (now stressing!), only half decorations up etc. How do other people do it?? I read all these life hacks but by the time dc are in bed I'm just so tired i have no energy for anything.

Can you take a few days annual leave to tackle it when the kids are at Nursery? Have a good blitz and declutter then it might be easier to keep it ok.
Also, get a handheld hoover. Best thing I ever bought and so easy to just whiz up crumbs and dust bunnies. My house looks like a bomb site every day but only takes 10 minutes to sling all the toys etc back into storage boxes and sort the kitchen (do little bits where you can during the day, clean the sink, bleach the loo etc).
So many good tips on the housekeeping thread, it really motivates me to just do tiny bits that adds up.

My eldest has now started school but when I was in your position (also have no local family and work 2/3 days) I did loads after bed time or found little jobs for them to do to 'help mummy' whilst I was busy. For example, I haven't dusted for years because my dc do it. I give them both a duster and spray the polish for them in little spots that need doing and their game is to clean it up. When they're in the bath I clean the bathroom. We make a game of tidying up toys before bed and timing them how fast they can clear the floor of toys works really well. I make sure a load of washing goes on each day so that it doesn't pile up but we have also bought extra clothes so that if it takes longer to get then clean again we're not running out of clean clothes. I've also lowered my standards too e.g. I don't iron nearly as much as I used to and if I can get away with it I just hang it up after it's been in the dryer. It's only for a short period and it will get easier.

Dp does help but will generally relax after (fairly late) dinner
This could be your issue. I couldn’t sit and relax if the house was a mess. If you both did a quick tidy up after dinner (it doesn’t take that long if you do it together and work fast) you would be able to stay ontop of it more.

I find if it’s all tidy, the kids seem to play better (leaving you more time free to keep ontop of things).

It is really hard when they are little though and it is a constant battle.

Mine are 3 and 1 too, 3 year old goes to nursery 3 mornings a week and I work from home 10-12 hours a week - no way could I get on top of housework (I tried), so we now have a cleaner 3hrs/weekly and it has made life easier - if you can afford it I definitely recommend. (It did take the agency 3 attempts to send me someone decent though!) The house is still a mess half the time but at least I know everything is clean-ish especially bathroom etc!

Thanks for more ideas - liking the idea of a tidy up song. Unfortuneately dp can relax in a mess but will work on the idea of 30 mins tidying/ cleaning each. It is demoralizing if I'm doing it on my own. But we have agreed a project over xmas hols is to sort the playroom out. Since we moved in last year its just been a dumping ground and isnt used so sure that would help. Time just feels so short though - meant to do some sorting earlier this week in a half day off and ended up having to take df to the gp instead

Btw in no way do i mind people telling me how sorted they are! Quite the opposite as I'd like tips that work as well as knowing I'm not the only one...

Once you’re ontop of it, it wouldn’t even take 30 mins each.

I think most people would like to just relax in the evening but unfortunately life with young DC does mean you have to do some things when they go to bed. Or just accept you will live in a bit of chaos!

Can one of you put the DC to bed and the other tidies up?

When mine want me to play/do something, I usually say ‘once we’ve tidied that up, I’ll play’. I don’t make them help but explain it will be quicker if we do it together.
The same as if we are going somewhere-I say ‘let’s all have a quick tidy then we’ll go’. Obviously only works if it’s somewhere they want to go!
When we come in, if there’s shopping/bags/coats, I’ll say ‘as soon as everything is away, i’ll put the telly on for you’.

It is a constant thing though! Proper storage helps.

My car on the other hand is awful. I could do with tips on how to keep it clean and tidy!

I had 4 kids under 5 when i lived in the UK. I had a cleaner 4 hours a week which we really needed. I worked from home 2 days a week and got a lot done on those days. Now i live overseas, have 1 extra child and a cleaner about 14 hours a week (much bigger house, much cheaper cleaner). I find shouting at teenagers helps keep things clean and tidy.
I put washing in every night on delay and hang it every morning, dishwasher goes on every night and gets emptied every morning. I make as much packed lunch stuff as possible for the following day while im doing dinner the night before, then its just an assembly line in the morning.
I need to use this holiday to have a declutter, it is getting out of hand!

I make my 3 year old help

Do you have any videos of the DC? I edited together about 25 mins of footage of DD and it worked like magic when I needed to get something done. It worked best on the TV she would sit as still as if she was in a trance, but if I was in a different part of the house then the iPad was nearly as good.