3 1/2 year old still pooing in pants - HELP!!!

[Tess100]

Does anyone have experience of this with their children? If so, what helps? Am getting desperate as he has been potty trained for 2 months now but has regressed twice with poos. It makes it awkward with the nursery although they have been good about it, and also nerve-wracking to go out! I just don't know what i can do about it but I really feel at this age this shouldn't be happening...Any ideas would be v.welcome!

if you know he is due to have one try taking him to loo and just pretending to do it..its good practise anyhow....
does he ask sometimes to go and then not bother other times?
it is alot to get used to and their concentration can be other things then it just happens...
think i have just trained ds ...so getting to grips with things...I sort of time them he is quite regular but became irregular when pants came on scene so kept mental note of when due etc....
try not to fuss too much about it, ask him to tell you /anyone to help a bit and big rewards ....for big jobs...again!

Thanks for the advice, it's just driving me mad...trying really hard to be patient about it but it's very frustrating in a child this age, especially because he won't discuss it at all!

I started a similar thread here

Dear joash,

Thanks so much for that. Was feeling completely depressed about the whole thing so it helps massively to read your thread and know it's a common problem. It is just so difficult to know how to handle it but I think I will try the neutral approach and see if it works. I think he has a bit of a problem with pooing as he has said he is stopping it coming etc and has been constipated both times he has regressed. I can't help worrying though that he is 4 in August and due to go to school in September and I'm not sure they will take him if this doesn't resolve by then. I (believe it or not) had the same problem with his identical twin (DS1)a few months ago and that took 3 months to resolve spontaneously. DS2 though had always been really difficult and flatly refused to be potty trained for ages. I did have some success with rewarding him with small cars but this is now the second time he has completely regressed with poos. He's now taking his pants and trousers off too once he's done it, which is even worse...Anyway, sorry to be so long!!!

The neutral approach is difficult - GS has just done it again. literally two minutes AFTER I ASKED IF HE NEEDED A POO!!!!

GOOD LUCK TO US ALL [SMILE]

So difficult, especially when you feel like yelling "why can't you get it"!!! I must admit I've slightly reduced my stress levels by buying a load of really cheap pants from Tesco and if it's a particularly bad one, just throwing that pair away in the dustbin - which feels quite liberating at times!! The health visitor said to me "they all get there eventually whatever you do or don't do". Unfortunately that doesn't help much when you are going through it though...Both my boys also have a problem with using the loo and would much rather still use the potty, so that's another thing we have to get over before school...