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Parenting

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Original poster

Scared of going out, feeling trapped

10 replies

Xansaf · 21/12/2017 15:00

Hi all. I’m new to posting here so please be gentle(ish) and apologies if there’s any etiquette I’m not aware of.

I have a 9 month old baby girl who is reasonably good and happy but can be a bit temperamental. To begin with, I would happily go out and about with her in her pram but since we got onto a napping schedule and starting weaning, I’ve found myself increasingly trapped at home. It’s now got to the point where I’m too scared to go out except for to a few baby classes that we attend. Other than that I occasionally dash to the supermarket with her and that’s pretty much it.

I think this has been exacerbated by the fact that a few weeks ago I took her into town and when I moved her from car seat to pram she absolutely freaked out. Screaming, real tears, trembling, the works. I’ve no idea what caused it but since then I have never been into town nor tried to put her in the pram when by myself (I’ve taken her for walks with DH) I’m scared if I go out with her she’ll just scream. We took her to a cafe today (carried her in because we were parked outside) and she lasted 5 minutes before she started whinging.

I suppose what I’m looking for is some kind of encouragement or shaming or understanding of this. I hate feeling trapped in my own Home but I don’t know what to do anymore. I wish I could take my beautiful little girl out into the world but I’m so worried about how she’ll behave that I just don’t feel like I can anymore.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

CharlieWork · 21/12/2017 17:34

Do you have any parks/woods etc near you to take her for a walk? That way you are not trapped in the house or contained somewhere like a cafe if she starts to get upset

squashyhat · 21/12/2017 17:45

What exactly are you scared of? Is it other people's reactions if she starts to cry? Babies cry all the time in public - you may get a few tuts but you can just ignore them. I was in a cafe today and there was (at various times) a baby wingeing, a toddler trying to escape from her Mum and vociferously objecting to being caught and some 5-6 year olds making a right old racket doing some colouring. No biggie - it's what kids do!

Original poster

Xansaf · 21/12/2017 19:28

CharlieWork - sort of but not in walking distance, so I’d need to take her there in the car first and the freak out when I transfer her from car to pram is one of the difficulties. May be worth trying though!

Squashyhat - yes I suppose it’s partly others reactions but mostly it’s that I just don’t want to be out trying to enjoy showing her the world or even doing a bit of shopping if all she’s going to do is be a complete mess, screaming and writhing in her pram like it’s burning her.

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OuchLegoHurts · 21/12/2017 19:32

Could it be that you have stopped taking her out so she isn't used to it? Unless there's something actually really wrong, all babies have good days and bad days. When ours were teething going out could end up in absolute disaster, but we still did go out and sometimes it worked!

Original poster

Xansaf · 21/12/2017 20:00

Hi ouchlegohurts (yes it does!) It could be that. So would you recommend I just bite the bullet and do it? Did you have any times like I described where your baby went absolutely CRAZY in the pram, real tears and all? What did you do?

OP posts:

teaandbiscuitsforme · 21/12/2017 21:14

Have you tried a sling/carrier if she doesn't like the pram?

OuchLegoHurts · 21/12/2017 22:13

I have twins and yes! In stereo! Mostly when teething...which seemed to go on forever! I was never really brave enough to go out on my own with the two of them because of the sheer difficulties with double buggy...And they were both in casts for hip issues (from chest to toes!) so myself and dh used to go out together. That helped! Do you have a partner who could go with you at weekends and get her used to it? But if she's teething she might just be cranky and sore and want the comfort of home...

OuchLegoHurts · 21/12/2017 22:14

Sorry just saw you've a DH!

skankingpiglet · 21/12/2017 22:30

I would just go for it. Perhaps pack a few of the 'good' snacks and a new small toy that you can present to her if she really goes nuts when out.
It's probably a good time of year to try it as once you've got past the initial hysterics of loading her into the buggy, towns are full of twinkly lights to glaze over in wonderment at (if you're 9mo!). I agree it's likely she's just not used to the buggy much, so a bit of distraction would work a treat.

It's also worth noting that your child's cry often sounds much louder to you than anyone else. Don't worry about people judging, most will be looking in sympathy or with a 'thank fuck it isn't me again today' if they even look at all.

Teddy334 · 22/12/2017 13:57

Someone else who was going to suggest a sling. My lo has definitely gone through phases where it was much harder being out and about. For a while I always made sure I had the sling tucked under the buggy and used to transfer her to sling and push empty buggy when she was really inconsolable which always calmed her down. Have literally done this in the middle of a busy shop etc. I also get the hassle when eating out as my baby is now self feeding and I'm always so paranoid about the mess! I would say it's good days and bad days and try to remember everything is just a phase. I do think it helps to brave it out though and remember you can always leave and get home as quickly as possible if she's in meltdown.

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