Teaching 2 year old to be gentle with newborn

[LizzieRap]

Hi, I hope someone can help me, we have recently had a baby girl 5 weeks ago and already have a toddler who turns two tomorrow!

Our almost two year old is so excited about her baby sister, but she is very heavy handed with her affection, often almost squashing and smothering her with cuddles, rough kisses and strokes. She also wants to constantly point out her eyes, nose, mouth etc poking the baby in the face!

We have tried telling her to be gentle and showing her what that means and to cuddle next to her so that she isn't on top of her but she throws herself down with force next to and often accidentally knocks the baby. We are very cautious that we don't want to constantly be telling her no you can't do this so that it spoils her enthusiasm and love for her sister but we have lots of tantrums when we try and teach her how to interact with her, it's exhausting as she wants to constantly be 'cuddling' her!

Can anyone help?!

Many Thanks in advance!

Ok, so having had this with my own, I think firstly, try and "let go" whatever actions are just a tiny bit too rough but won't actually hurt baby. The odd rough kiss or over enthusiastic "EAR! MOUH!" and poking at baby probably wont do baby any harm - they just got pushed out of the birth canal fairly roughly, they can cope with rough kisses!!

Secondly, try not to say no. When big one is kissing little one (even roughly) say "WOW! What a great big sister you are! Look at you kissing baby so gently!!", "don't you give lovely gentle hugs!" etc. It's a phase, it passes!

We had a similar age gap. We would just let out a dramatic cry each time theeldest was too rough and say gently! And then show him and praise him when he was gentle. We would also make a big deal point out how little the youngest was and say that he was a little baby and therefore you had to be gentle a lot. He learned fairly quickly.

It's definitely a phase - 21mo gap here. Not much to add other than keep modelling what you want her to do. 'See how much baby likes it when you pay her arm gently' etc over and over again. You have to use no sometimes but try to save it for when you really need it. Otherwise direct her in a different way - 'show me how you can stroke her gently' ' show daddy how you can tickle her feet' etc

Good luck! It will pass.

*pat her arm!

It's hard for two year olds to judge how much force they're using - try playing with play doh so she can feel what's hard (squashing it for) and what's gentle (touching it without leaving a mark).

Thanks everyone, appreciate your help xxx