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Parenting

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is parenting meant to be like this?

8 replies

loneriri · 21/12/2017 02:38

i’m not sure where to turn and have found very few useful reading material. i think im mostly looking for other opinions and thoughts.

my baby has just turned 3 months and she means the world to me!
i feel like the relationship i have with her dad is not progressive and almost toxic.
since being pregnant, all the way through to now, i feel as though i’m very much alone. he started working a week before i was born and now contributes almost nothing towards the baby and I, luckily, I earned enough comission at work to cover all 3 of us. He works 5 days a week, comes home and spends the rest of his evening playing games or on his phone. I am exhausted a lot of the time of course because of looking after little bubba, but also during labour, i lost so much blood, I am now anaemic. My partner rarely gets up to do night feeds which means i get maximum 6 hours sleep a night. We rarely get intimate anymore, he openely expresses how fat I’ve become because I dont do anything about it, but I genuinely don’t have anybody to keep the baby for an hour. I try support him mentally, but I feel as though I’m losing myself also.

can things get better?

OP posts:
Anonymum123 · 21/12/2017 02:40

He sounds rotten :( sorry you’re going through this.
I assume you’ve tried to tell him how you feel?

loneriri · 21/12/2017 02:44

yes, i’ve explained to him but he said it’s part of motherhood and suck it up, in more or less words. but i just dont think it’s meant to be this draining.

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 21/12/2017 02:49

Well no, it's not meant to be that draining, but you've got a partner that doesn't want to actively parent. So you're being massively let down by him not doing his fair share.

Am I right in understanding that he doesn't contribute financially either? Or have I misunderstood?

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loneriri · 21/12/2017 02:52

no he doesnt contribute financially, i tried really hard to get us a place for all 3 of us to live in but because I got it, he says I must pay for upkeep.

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 21/12/2017 02:56

Bloody hell. So he does nothing and contributes nothing financially - he is an absolute waste of space.

It's total bollocks that he isn't contributing to where he's living. Or for his own child. It's contemptible tbh. And then to have the absolute cheek to say comments to you about your weight! He's vile.

Would you not be better off, emotionally and financially, if you kicked him out and then pursue him via the CMS to get maintenance for your child?

loneriri · 21/12/2017 03:00

i have been considering asking him to leave, I feel like I can cope better without him around, it’s just big leap, becoming a single parent, same time, I think it would be better for my girl to see me at my best

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 21/12/2017 03:03

Really though, you're a single parent now. He's acting like an unpleasant lodger, not a parent or partner. Kicking him out would be an improvement because your self esteem wouldn't be taking a bartering from his nasty comments.

MessyBun247 · 22/12/2017 13:25

You are a single parent already. He does fuck all. You are better off kicking him out and having a nice life with your child.

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