Problems with fighting at school

[superduperdo]

DS1 is in Year 1, and is generally happy and engaged. He's the youngest in the year (August 31st birthday) and it sometimes shows, but is doing ok, progressing well and has a good group of friends.

Since moving to Year one, we have had a few problems with him coming home injured by one particular child - I'll call him "Sam". Sam, over the past term, has pushed DS over and stamped on his ankle, scratched his face and pushed him into a toilet cubicle door, bumping his head. To begin with I just wrote it off as kids messing around, but it's always the same boy.

Last week, DS was in trouble at school for pushing Sam over in the corridor. It was apparently unprovoked, and led to him being put in timeout. Yesterday, his teacher didn't say anything to me, but DS told me he'd been in trouble again, as Sam had hit him and he'd pushed him back and knocked him over.

The thing is, I'm not sure if Sam has special needs of some sort. I've been to school events and his behaviour is disruptive to the extreme - think trying to stab the table with scissors, pull the blinds down, throw chairs, push other children over during the nativity. He's also apparently cut another child's hair in the classroom. He seems to have a TA working closely with him a lot of the time, and he sits on a chair, not the mat, in the classroom. So it seems they have some strategies in place to deal with his behaviour.

But how do I handle it with DS? He's never been a child who has got into fights, he's usually a very gentle little boy. And it really only ever seems to be with this one boy. He was seriously reprimanded by us for the day that he'd been in time out - he missed a play date he'd been looking forward to. And I've told him to just stay out of Sam's way, if he's causing trouble, but he says he can't as his chair is next to DS's place on the mat! I just don't want his behaviour to deteriorate or for him to start to think that fighting other children is acceptable behaviour. But equally I don't know if it's bad enough to approach the school about?

Any thoughts?

I don't think it would hurt to approach the teacher for a meeting to ask how you can help your child. You won't be able to discuss Sam and his issues but maybe you could figure out a plan together to support your son avoiding trouble.

You definitely need to approach the school, it's up to them to manage Sam's behaviour and protect your DS. From your post it sounds like your DS had been provoked into retaliating.

You have 6 years of this

It won't change.

Thanks for the replies. I wasn't sure if I was overreacting - I don't want to be "that parent" who goes in to talk to the teacher about every little playground scrape - but it does seem to consistently be the same child. We have broken up for Christmas now, so I think I'll see what happens when we go back. I'm keeping a diary of any incidents, so if they continue after Christmas I'll ask for a meeting with the school.