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Original poster

When to lose the dummy...

26 replies

elliej83 · 18/12/2017 23:42

I have a 14 month old who has a dummy at bedtime and nap time only if we are in the car.

He’s started to recognise what a dummy is and point to it at times which makes me thing perhaps we should be taking atela

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Original poster

elliej83 · 18/12/2017 23:44

Whoops!
Steps to remove it. However he sleeps very well with it and I don’t really want to disrupt that either as it soothes him.

How and when was the right time for you to remove your child’s dummy...

OP posts:

Eeeeek2 · 18/12/2017 23:46

I’m in the same situation, nearly 14 month old who will now grab a dummy if he finds it and would go around with it all the time if I let him. Cot only at the moment.

Still not sleeping through so reluctant to remove as he wakes up if dummy falls out of cot and he can’t get it.

Original poster

elliej83 · 18/12/2017 23:49

Eeeek we have the same issue with sunny grabbing... have had incidents of DS grabbing strangers dummies too. Oh Lord!

He has such a smile on his face when he’s allowed it!

We also have the issue with waking up for ‘dummy runs’ sometimes in the night.

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MoHunter · 19/12/2017 20:03

DS1 was never super into his dummies, one night when he was 9 months we couldn’t find it and he went to sleep fine without it and we just decided to drop it altogether - he never missed it.

DS2 was/is a different kettle of fish! He was a lot more into his dummies and to be honest totally depended on them for daytime naps and at night. A few weeks ago (13 months old) when he was teething quite badly he suddenly started completely refusing his dummy and kept pushing it out of his mouth and throwing it on the floor. Since then he’s been a nightmare to get to sleep during the day, and is harder to soothe at night, but even now he’s just not interested in dummy any more! (I kept trying because his sleep has been awful!) So we’ve kind of been forced to give up the dummy, although I would’ve kept giving it him if it meant better sleep at least for a while longer!

I have heard it’s easiest to give them up before they’re 1 as they get more attached. But I think as long as it’s only for sleep and not for sucking when they’re awake you’re fine - I’d probably try to drop it before they’re 2 personally.

Tinselistacky · 19/12/2017 20:06

My ds sleeps 12 hours a night, why the feck would I risk changing that??
He has put it back in himself from about 8 months, left a few in his cot, dropped the night bf at 9 months and he started sleeping through.
Most of my dc dropped the dummy around 3 of their own choice. It's a source of comfort why deny them it?

40andFat · 19/12/2017 20:09

You need to drop it as it affects the development of their teeth at some point. My Dd is 1 my older 2 boys never had one. She sleeps beautifully 7-7 every night so I’m dreading it but gonna go cold turkey after Xmas.

ChristmasAccountant · 19/12/2017 20:12

We gave ours to Santa when he was 2.5. He only ever had it for sleep and we did it when he seemed to understand. Never asked for it again after Christmas Day and sleeps just as well without.
Having seen friends struggle when taking away dummies I decided to wait til he was older, worked for us.

Eeeeek2 · 19/12/2017 20:59

I’m going with it at the moment I’m going to night wean over next week as dh is off for 10 days. I don’t think it’s fair to do it at the same time. Have no idea when best to get rid. probably dh next holiday

Ideally want to do it sooner than later as we’re trying for dc2 (fingers crossed) and don’t want problems with stealing new hypothetical baby’s dummy.

Farfromtheusual · 19/12/2017 20:59

Watching with interest as I'm in exactly the same boat!

Reluctant to take it away as he sleeps so so well with it and is fine during the day without it, only when he sees it does he realise that he wants it.

The other week he chased a little girl around playgroup trying to steal her dummy 😂😂😂

Farfromtheusual · 19/12/2017 21:02

Also, chuck a load of dummy's in the cot - he'll find one in the night! Sometimes I wake up and when I look at the baby monitor, all I see is DS patting around in the cot looking for one haha

Closetlibrarian · 19/12/2017 21:15

My theory is you either need to get rid of it when they’re really tiny (under 6 months) or wait until they’re 2.5/3. Anything else is a bit cruel - it’s a massive source of comfort and they won’t understand why it’s taken away.

DS is 2 and has his for sleeps or if he’s poorly and I’ve no intention of taking it away until he’s old enough to give it up for the dummy fairy himself (which will hopefully be in the next year!)

LexieLulu · 19/12/2017 21:56

I went cold turkey with both of my children.

First child was about 14 months, like yours. He had a cold and was snuffly, so I removed it to help him breath. Never returned.

Second child, I knew I wanted to do the same, but we had a flight around their 1st birthday so I waited till we'd got that out the way. Then I just hid every dummy.

At that age they can't ask for it, they can whinge but I would give a bottle of water if they did. There was probably 1 whingey day after.

The earlier you remove the easier xx

FourForYouGlenCoco · 19/12/2017 22:05

DC1 had a dummy but was never that fussed on them; we only ever had a couple and misplaced them both by the time she was 10 months, so that was that. She didn’t care, job done.
DC2 still LOVES his dummies now at nearly 17mo, is obsessed, would be permanently plugged if it was up to him! He only has them for naps, bedtime and when he’s really hurt/upset though. I sort of feel like it’s lazy parenting, but equally they calm him down so well that it seems harsh to make him be upset when there’s such an easy fix. Plus he doesn’t sleep through the night still so I’m loath to potentially make things worse. We were at the dentist yesterday, I fessed up about the dummy use and the dentist was totally unbothered and said he wouldn’t be worried at all at this age, which made me feel better! DC1 had did have a bedtime bottle til she was just gone 2 and her teeth, speech development etc are all perfect, so I’ll probably give it til around then and then nix DC2’s dummy (and bottle), if it’s not happened naturally before.

FartnissEverbeans · 20/12/2017 06:26

I have a 14mo and there is no way I'm removing his dummy any time soon. He loves it. It would be cruel.

I'll start weaning him off it if he's still using it this time next year.

chloechloe · 20/12/2017 10:29

DD2 started refusing hers at 10 months. I would prefer her still to have it (12 months now) but she's madder than a bag of cats if I try to put it in her mouth.

DD1 on the other hand is 3 in March and still loves hers. She only has it to sleep though and she sleeps through and naps really well. She has started to become aware though that some of her friends at nursery sleep without one and says she wants to do the same, but then ends up sticking it back in. I think I'll just gently encourage her over the next few months to give it up, but leave it down to her.

Metalhead · 20/12/2017 11:27

DD1 had a dummy for naps and nighttime sleep until she was about 3, then we gave it to the dummy fairy. No fuss, no problems sleeping without it!

I agree with a pp that you should either do it by 6 months or wait until they’re older and can be reasoned with.

noeyedeer · 21/12/2017 08:26

Mine had his until about 2 1/2. We started by only having it for naps in bed or in buggy and just decided not to replace the ones he lost (we kept saying that to him too). Then one day we were visiting relatives, he threw the last one out of his pushchair and we didn't replace it. We had two nights which were horrid, then he was back to sleeping well. Naps were never the same again though.

Sennelier1 · 21/12/2017 09:30

My children had dummies, but only for sleeping or for long drives. When I picked them up out of their beds I always said "dummie" and they spit it out 😊My daughter was without a dummie when she was about 3. My son had more trouble being without it, and it started to influence the position of his teeth. So our pediatrician and I told him that children from outside the UK (we are Belgian) are not allowed in the country with a dummie 😇 That worked, since he knew we would be travelling to the UK for summer vacations 😂

Franm2 · 21/12/2017 11:12

When I was stressing about this with my DS a wise friend asked me, "Have you ever seen a grown man on the bus with a dummy? No? So why are you wasting your time worrying about this?" She was right. DS gradually used it less and less to get to sleep and then decided it was just for babies and stopped. I can see the problem if children want it at other times and it's stopping them interacting/talking, but if it's just for sleeping why make life harder for them - and you.

ineedwine99 · 21/12/2017 11:19

I'm lucky that my daughter dropped her's for nighttime sleep at 4m old, but she is now 16m and has it for naps and car journeys, she also knows where it is and if see's it grabs it, we've stopped giving it to her in the car and stopped her having it in an evening before bed, but we're going cold turkey next week while she's off nursery and we have grandparents to help distract her (fingers crossed!). Good luck everyone

Sennelier1 · 21/12/2017 11:20

Franm2 you're só right, and so is your wise friend 😊My children never had their dummy for playtimes, so it was only in bed and maybe for long drives (I had spare dummies in a little box in my handbag). They didn't need them anymore DD at age 3, DS was nearly 4.

BigGrannyPants · 21/12/2017 11:41

My oldest (who is now 7) gave up his dummy completely at a year old but my twins who are 2 are very attached to their dummies, they turned 2 5 months ago and we took dummies away during the day. It was a battle for a few days but now they know they only get them at bed time. After Christmas we plan to go through the pain of getting rid of them completely. It won’t be great but it’s short term, my main worry is that they’ve stashed a couple and find them after we get rid of dummies, my girl twin is especially fond of dummies, when she had them during the day she could have up to 4 on her at any one time 😬

MothQuandary · 21/12/2017 13:29

I had a dummy for night-time until I was 8. Yes. 8 years old. I wouldn’t have got rid of it then if my maternal grandmother hadn’t read my mum the riot act! I remember having a massive panicky tantrum about not having it.

I have very goofy teeth, even after 4 years of orthodontistry, which I always attributed to having a dummy because no-one else in my family had them. But my poor DD never had a dummy and she has the same awful teeth, so I guess it wasn’t the dummy’s fault after all (unless dummies are somehow able to alter your DNA... Now there’s a conspiracy theory for you!)

The moral of this story is don’t assume your child will give up their dummy of their own accord!

sthitch · 21/12/2017 14:28

I’m one nap into losing the dummy with my 14 week old! (It was a success lol) trying to distract with rocking in the pram/white noise until she forgets about the dummy and can go back to usual ways of getting to sleep. Only because she keeps waking up for it and it’s no good for any of us!

Me264 · 21/12/2017 17:17

I got rid of DS’s dummies a month ago - he was 20 months. A couple of days of harder nap times and bed times was all it took. His had started to actually disrupt his sleep - he was waking 3 or 4 times a night for it and was totally incapable of finding it himself. Since we got rid, he’s back to sleeping through. He never asked for it back or anything - it was much easier than I was anticipating.

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