I'm known for my calm, polite manner and rarely upset people so for me it's a bit issue when I do...
I live a long way from my own parents and on the door step of my in laws (not by choice). My in laws are lovely people but really over bearing. I didn't want them to do any childcare because when I was growing up my grandparents didn't look after me. They had their own lives and we had special days out every now and then and had a great relationship. I knew id find the blurred lines of childcare hard. But my arm was twisted because I was told I was wasting my money on a nursery even though I'd budgeted on using one.
They've irritated me for a long time but I'm well aware that most of it is my own insecurities and resenting the fact they have a closer relationship with my daughter than my own family. What I can't quite handle is us all being together.
They completely take over. I have on occasions been quite literally pushed aside as they tend to their grandchild. They like to sooth her so grandma will resolve any tantrum by whatever means. Ignoring the fact that I am there dealing with it.
Anyway last weekend I snapped. Dd was kicking off. I told everyone to ignore her. They didn't. Sweets and puppets were coming out of the handbag. Stupid grandparents voices were being used. Both my husband and I were ignored even though we were in our own house. When it had finally blown over i flipped and told them i found it really unhelpful that there were 4 people trying to resolve 1 small childs tantrum and that we were the parents and sometimes, although they were only trying to be helpful, they weren't.
Well you can imagine how the rest of the evening went. It was the silent treatment.
I have never fallen out with mil but others have and it's bad. She is a sulker. Part of me feels guilty because I know she hasn't don't anything wrong and I over reacted but I've put up with this for 2 and a half years of her acting like my child's mother.
If she wants to be mad at me that's fine but she seems to be mad at my husband which is worse. He's not very well with depression but we haven't told his parents. We've both had a really awful year with 3 miscarriages. The last thing he needs is a sulking mother and i know this is likely to go on and on. I apologised to her before she left which she pretended to accept but she is now ignoring her sons texts and making sarcastic comments about the free childcare she provides.
How can I make amends before an incredibly awkward Christmas??