I went back to work a few months ago after my second period of maternity leave. I have a DD in reception, and almost two year old twins. Since my DD started school in September, it's been a constant sequence of stomach bugs, which the kids get one after the other and so they last almost a fortnight. DH is in education and so finds it difficult to take time off during term time. So I do the majority of the care.
I just feel like I'm not doing my job at home properly, and not doing my paid job properly. My work are flexible, I requested and got my chosen hours, and they're generally pretty good. But I can tell that I'm beginning to be seen as a bit unreliable, although everything is done perfectly well. Others do have to cover, and I feel bad about that. To some extent, my employers do understand that DH can do very little during term time (the trade off being I have no childcare responsibilities 13 weeks a year and can be completely flexible) but others at work with kids are much more able to share the care with their partners.
Giving up work would, I feel, be bad for my mental health. At the moment, with childcare costs, I don't make any money really. But I will one day, and if I give up my job I won't get one similar. I'm just so torn. I accidentally ended up with more children than I ever planned, and my life has been impacted more than I ever thought. DH tries his best, but his workload is increasing more and more and he can't give the support I would like, in so many ways.
I don't know what the solution is. I don't know even if I'm looking for answers here. I'm hoping for some reassurance that I'm not the only one and that this won't last forever!