Mum to be, what to buy her for Christmas?

[RobinsonIP]

Hey. I’m new on here. Dad to be in May. I’ve bought my wife some Christmas presents all maternity related, but will she want none baby items? If so, any ideas?

What kind of gifts would you have bought your wife before she became pregnant?

One of the things that has really bugged me about being pregnant is that suddenly everything is about the baby, to the point that at times I've felt like my sole identity is that of 'mum to be' which can be very erasing. She's still a person in her own right, and I can't speak for her directly, but for me getting gifts that are about me, and not just about the fact that I'm pregnant, has been really important to me. Also it really drives me nuts when people buy stuff actually for the baby as a birthday or christmas gift for me. They mean well, but they don't do that to my DP, so why do it with me?

I would consider getting her the kinds of things you would buy her if she wasn't pregnant (being practical about it, a bottle of wine is probably not on the wish list at the moment). Take the opportunity to show her that you still see her and who she is as a person, and that you still value that part of her, and not just her as mum to be.

For me, on my wish list are things to do with my hobbies ( I like to knit and cross stitich so books, patterns, and storage stuff for my gear), cook books, novels, perfume and luxury toiletries, chocolate, pyjamas and socks, new slippers, all typical stuff. None of it baby or maternity related.

I agree. sort of thing you would normally get her with perhaps minor adjustments if not currently suitable e.g. she probably won't want alcohol, clothes that either don't fit now or won't when she is no longer pregnant etc
gifts I loved were jewellery, vouchers for massages (although these will need to he pregnancy ones at the moment), accessories etc that can be used during or after pregnancy such as bags, scarfs, slippers etc
bath products
hobby related activities e.g. theatre tickets, books, magazine subscriptions etc

www.bookdepository.com/The-Big-Fat-Activity-Book-for-Pregnant-People-Jordan-Reid/9781409173892?redirected=true&utm_medium=Google&utm_campaign=Base1&utm_source=UK&utm_content=The-Big-Fat-Activity-Book-for-Pregnant-People&selectCurrency=GBP&w=AFC7AU96G7DHS7A80CZ9AFXB&pdg=kwd-104397646419:cmp-706717199:adg-36709104477:crv-162348538689:pid-9781409173892&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIofrDqY-T2AIVTr7tCh1HCQpMEAQYASABEgIOyPD_BwE

I think thats funny with some nice pens.

I’m hoping not to get any baby/maternity related items for Christmas. As others have said, she is still a person in her own right, not just an incubator. Try something like vouchers for a spa/massage/manicure/pedicure if she likes that sort of thing. What would you normally get her? You know her best, not us.

It’s cliqued but how about a night away in a spa type hotel. Lovely to swim / be in water whilst pregnant. Can still do treatments/massages, just need to check they are suitable for pregnancy.
Can’t go into jacuzzis or steam rooms whilst pregnant but everything else is fine.

Unless you would usually buy her wine and unpasteurised cheese then just buy stuff you usually would.

Just to add, time away gets much harder once baby arrives so it’s nice to take advantage now.

Personally I’d avoid jewellery as kids grab it - I haven’t worn any for a few years (little ones are 3 and 2).

I second the massage/spa idea.
If funds allow, look for a fairly luxurious one that has a pool, jacuzzis, relaxation room etc and also does specific pregnancy treatments. Buy a voucher for a pregnancy massage/treatment but tell her she can use it for that, or keep it until after the baby comes and she can convert it to a voucher for a relaxing spa visit instead (whilst you look after the baby obviously!)
Otherwise, I personally would love comfy cosy stuff that isn't pregnancy related but will make me feel warm and nurtured over the winter (beautiful blanket, scarf, gloves etc)
A new dressing gown, slippers pyjamas could be good (only if she uses these things and hers are getting a bit old though, otherwise would just be superfluous).
This could just be me though. I know some people would find scarves and slippers very boring presents!

I would get her something you'd normally get her or something she won't easily be able to enjoy once baby arrives. Book her in for a spa day with pregnancy treatments or take her away for a romantic weekend so you can have some time together and get to relax before baby comes.

I've bought a nice tote bag for my pregnant DDiL. It's one that she would be able to use for baby stuff if she wants to, but equally nice for work as it's big enough to carry a laptop etc. I've deliberately steered away from anything baby related. We're buying the cot as a gift to the whole family but not until well after Xmas.

I agree with the spa voucher things however I do think a small item related to the baby would be nice. I really enjoyed my pregnancy partially because my husband was equally excited. Maybe an outfit or a book you’d love to read to the baby - just something thoughtful. I love my1styears.com

She's still a person in her own right.

I would have bought her the sort of things you would normally buy, plus one or two items baby/Mum related.

Not everything maternity related then normal presents as an after thought.

Of course she will want her usual types of presents.

Please, for the love of fuck, get her something for herself and not the baby. Save the baby presents until it's here. Right now, there is nothing I want less than presents for the baby (it's due in 6 weeks). At a push, buy her a 'nice to have' that she wouldn't necessarily buy herself, like one of those big pillows that she can wedge around herself when she's the size of a planet.

I am not an incubator, I am not defined by my status as a pregnant woman. I still have all the same interests, sense of humour and my own personality.

My secret Santa presents this year have been stuff for the baby. I just think it's lazy - the person hasn't thought about me, just the bump! Can you tell I'm fed up?

I couldn't agree more with the above. My sibling bought me a BT baby monitor for my birthday when I was pregnant with my eldest. Yes, very generous, but a practical item we needed for the baby and not for me!!!

New mum here. Night away for you both in a nice hotel?

... or a posh meal out? DH booked us dinner at Marcus Wareing, we went when I was eight months along. At the time I thought it was ludicrously over the top but nowadays that the closest I can get to Marcus Wareing is Masterchef I’m really happy we went.

Spa voucher or beauty salon voucher. Having a pedicure when pregnant (when you can't reach your friggin feet!!) and post baby are lovely treats.

What kind of gifts would you have bought your wife before she became pregnant?

This!

I would have been really disappointed to receive maternity stuff for Christmas.

But her things you would normally buy her. There is nothing worse than feeling like a rent-a-womb.

When I was pregnant with my DD I never got anything non pregnancy related for xmas. One person bought me all baby clothes. Lovely! Except it’s not really a gift for me is it?

Nice perfume, shopping voucher to buy something she feels good in, jewellery maybe?