Making friend issues

[rpkchelsea]

I am desperate for help for my 10 year old daughter. She's in year 6 and she's got no friends. It's not that the other kids don't like her or bully her, they just have their own little groups and my daughter lacks the confidence to just go up to them and try getting involved. Well that's the impression I was getting from the school, until an hour ago when my daughter completely broke down again and told me that when she goes to sit with people at lunch they all move away from her, when she tries to talk to someone, this 1 particular girl tells them not to talk to my daughter cos she has nits (which she doesn't) or because her skin condition is catching (again it isn't as it's an allergic reaction to my friends dog) and other generally nasty comments. My daughter has just been crying upstairs in bed because she doesn't want to go to school for her Xmas lunch as she keeps getting this image of her sitting alone to eat it!! I am absolutly heartbroken for her and at a loss as to what I can do to help, other than keep her at home forever and be her best friend for life lol. She appears to be showing signs of depression from it all, at 10 years old!! She's going to start high school in September and I'm really scared that this lack of friends/confidence issue Will lead to bullying and I'm terrified for her and seriously at my wits end!! I feel so powerless to help her please can someone advise me on how to help her...

Also my daughter has a heart of gold, she's so helpful at home with my 2 young boys, she helps tidy up, cook dinner, do washing anything she can do to help she will do it. She's such a lovely girl and I cannot understand why these other children are being like this with her. It's couldn't be happening to a nicer child :'(

Is there a ring leader to the nastiness? How long has it been going on? She's in year six so has it just happened? Who does she have over for play dates? Has her class teacher noticed anything? Has anything been mentioned to you at parent's evening?

You need to sit down calmly, talk to her about what exactly has been going on. Find out what is behind it? Listen carefully to what she says. Try not to get angry.

Does she do activities outside of school, where she can meet one or two of her class mates on neutral ground? Stage Coach maybe or a dance class? What is the school bullying policy? Once you know more, go and talk to the school, her teacher first, and then if nothing improves, to the head. They should have some suggestions. Good luck