A question about night terrors

[ICantThinkOfAGoodOne]

Hi all,

So I was wondering if anyone else has experience of having night terrors and looking after a baby.

I've had night terrors since my teens. Typically, they just involve sitting bolt upright and screaming - lots and lots of screaming - but occasionally I'll try to get out of bed too.

This hasn't really been an issue (apart from anyone sharing a room with me ) but I'm now expecting my first baby. I want to have it by my bed once it's born, but I'm worried about a) waking the baby and b) hurting it if I try an escape manoeuver.

There's nothing online to help me with this (everything's about how your child will probably outgrow them, ironically!) so I was wondering if anyone had any experience of looking after a newborn and having night terrors who could reassure me or give any tips?

Thanks!

No personal experience as I don't have night terrors (though my daughter has), but I did bedshare for 3 years when my dd was little. I would say I would be very cautious about bedsharing if you have night terrors or any sort of parasomnia. I wouldn't be too concerned about waking the baby. They sleep through all sorts of things! Except quiet when you actually want them to go to sleep. But I wouldn't have baby in bed with you if you do things without being aware in your sleep. Bedsharing is very safe when done safely, but if you aren't aware of your actions then you can't guarantee you'll be safe or how you would react in that situation. I would instead keep baby close to you but in a cot next to your bed (with the side up). That way there is a buffer between you and baby. I'm assuming you have a partner who is sleeping with you? Does your partner wake up? In that case, I would enlist them to be the one to intervene when you have one to prevent you from doing anything that might harm your baby. Do they know how to shake you out of it or keep you in bed when it happens? Keeping your baby close to you in the same room should still make things easier and give you plenty of bonding time, but without the risk of knocking baby off the bed without reaslising, etc.

Hi, sorry no experience but bumping for you, my 2 year old is having these at the moment and it must be horrible still getting them as an adult.

The only thought I had is that during the newborn period you may find your sleep cycles/sleep depth, and/or your hormones, are so different that you don't get them? Or I might be clutching at straws...

@mindutopia: co-sleeping is off the table for me anyway, as I have epilepsy (the two may well be related). Husband is now so used to it he managed to calm me down in his sleep the other night!

Good shout on a cot with the side up, though - I was going to go for a side-sleeping one, but that's probably more sensible.

@minipie: no worries, thanks for bumping! I can offer some reassurance that your little one will almost certainly grow out of them. As far as I've ever been able to tell, it's really unusual for them to carry on past childhood (only about 2% of adults have them apparently).

It'll be interesting to see whether the newborn period has any effect. Who knows, maybe the baby will keep me up so much I never get to the stage of sleep that triggers it, lol!

I have always had them.

I'm afraid that they got worse with each child - might be hormonal not sure.

A really frequent one for me was that I had fallen asleep feeding the baby and he had fallen down the side of the bed or that I had suffocated him. I would wake up screaming and throwing off the covers desperately searching for him. The baby inevitably would be peacefully asleep in his cot.

@busyboysmum first time I've ever met another adult sufferer!

Good to know that your baby managed to sleep through either way, haha! Wonder if mine will also turn from really primal stuff (spiders, snakes, things falling on me) to more baby-focused fears

Hi yes it's lovely to meet someone else who has the same madness. I find it very hard to go away on girly weekends because nobody wants to share a room with me for some reason. My night terrors getting much worse when I'm not in a familiar place.

When I was in hospital having given birth to my first child I didn't sleep for 3 days and by the end was hallucinating when I did try to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking I was in a spaceship and had been abducted by aliens and was screaming round the room knocking over equipment etc trying to get away

That must have been fun for the nurses!

I'm under the care of the high-risk unit at my hospital, which means regular appointments with an obstetrician. I might mention it to them and/or my GP when I see them in January, see if they have any thoughts. Will definitely make sure it's noted for when I go into hospital though, just so nobody is completely startled if I have one.