Co-Parenting and Breastfeeding a Newborn?

[midwifetomummy]

Good Morning Ladies,
I am currently 33weeks pregnant with my first child and I'm looking for some advice. I was in a short term relationship, which ended I ended a couple of weeks after finding out I was pregnant (unplanned pregnancy, I had a mirena coil) due to being unhappy. Even though we have never fallen out, I've been suffering with anxiety about her arrival since I was about 12weeks pregnant, my main concern being (as selfish as it sounds) the fear of having to share someone I already love so much. I know my feelings are just my maternal instinct taking over and I know once she is here we will be able to co-parent really well. He is an incredible guy and he is going to be the best father, I am determined to make sure he feels as involved as possible.
My questions for you ladies, are mainly to do with how to deal with schedules and stuff with a newborn... especially taking into consideration my plans to exclusively breastfeed which we have discussed and he says he fully supports. We have already had a conversation about her not staying overnight with him until she is at least one, do you think this is reasonable?
I guess I am also concerned about the fact that I really don't know this guy very well, we were only together for about 8 weeks when I found out I was pregnant and he wasn't overjoyed about our breakup. I think he is holding on to the idea we will get back together once she is here, which is not what I want in the slightest. I'm concerned he may suddenly go against everything we have agreed when he doesn't get what he wants??
As I work as a midwife myself I have seen this happen so many times...
Any help or even reassurance would be a massive help,
Sorry for my rant!
Thankyou... midwifetomummy xxx

i could of wrote this post nearly word for word! i have a 5 week old baby boy and i am also exclusively breastfeeding. his father and i are not together and we weren't together when i got pregnant either, just friends... a few days after baby was born the father decided he wanted to be together but that is not what i wanted!
i am also exclusively breastfeeding so it is hard as the father can feel left out but rest assured you are giving your baby the best start by breastfeeding and he should understand that! just reassure him that when he is older he will spend time alone with his baby! just don't feel pressured into bottle feeding or expressing & feeding f you arnt ready! this is your time with your baby and his dad has his whole life to spend time with baby!
good luck!!

As selfish as it sounds, when she arrives he and his feelings should be at the bottom of your list of priorities!

How are you planning to do parent, will he visit or are you living together? What is your support network? I felt pretty run over when I first gave birth to DS so the first few days my DH literally ran around after me 24/7 making me food and drinks and holding the baby whilst I shuffled to the bathroom. It was small invaluable things I needed at 3am like the baby holder or the coffee that you might miss the most if no one is staying with you?

As far as conparenting goes, I have had weeks of cluster feeding, during leap two I had days of him constant boobing. He is 11weeks old, I am in a loving relationship with my husband who I have been with for 9years and I haven’t left him for longer than 15minutes since he was born so be prepared to turn full lioness and not want to leave her alone with him at all.

Pumping and building a supply is quite a commitment (I really didn’t appreciate this) and I really wouldn’t bugger about expressing Just so that the father can feel he is being useful by giving a feed - you will likely be awake supervising him anyway so it doesn’t gain anything. Also I tended to find it would take me a while to pump a few oz and then he would take about 2oz and the rest would end up getting thrown away!

Good luck with everything, at least being a midwife you have a good idea what to expect with the birth and in the early days - I am just completely winging it!