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Original poster

Did I shake my baby?

9 replies

SunglassCat · 12/12/2017 09:00

Hello, Smile I am a ftm and new here but have been reading your threads and they've all been helpful!

I have a 5 week old son and for some reason on Sunday evening and overnight he was so unsettled. I tried everything to calm him down but it just made the crying and shouting worse! On top of it I was so annoyed of my husband and so was a little less patient with the baby.

Shortly after midnight I found myself rocking his moses basket so fast and before that I had him in my arms, parallel to my thighs and knees and I was (swinging? moving?) him back and forth horizontally.

Did I shake him? I feel like I did? Should I be worried?

Looking forward to your responses. Thank you very much all.

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Redsippycup · 12/12/2017 09:11

Oh lovey I don't think you did. It doesn't sound like it. It just sounds like you rocked him. Was his head supported and not moving on his neck (like whiplash).

You do need to be careful if your husband is winding you up and it's affecting how you are treating the baby though. Try to compartmentalise husband being an arse / baby needing a cuddle. I don't really know how to explain what I mean. I comfort myself when I am upset by having a cuddle with DD, rather than being upset with her too, if that makes sense.

Are you and your husband ok now or is this an ongoing thing?

Original poster
SunglassCat · 12/12/2017 09:46

Hi! On the moses basket he was lying flat and whilst I was holding him I was holding his head. These things make me so paranoid!

Husband is winding me up almost everyday but most specially that evening. He refuses to take baby out as he thinks baby is uncomfortable in the carseat (too small), meaning we've been at home for the 5 weeks. Angry

Thank you so much for replying tho!

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Chaosofcalm · 12/12/2017 09:49

OP I really don’t think you have shaken your baby but it sounds like you have a lot going on. PLease ring your HV and ask them to come round for a chat and be honest about what is happening with your husband.

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NerrSnerr · 12/12/2017 09:51

If he refuses to take the baby out I’d just go out myself, either in the car or pram.

When my baby was tiny I found groups were a godsend for me (the baby doesn’t care at that age) so I could chat to mums going through similar.

Thishatisnotmine · 12/12/2017 09:52

No, shaking a baby in the way you are worried about is causing their head to tip back and forth. We have all had moment where it becomes to much. My tactic was to smack the arm of our sofa a few times, sort of released tension. A few deep breaths and then pick up baby who had been screaming for hours and continue to cuddle and soothe.

Does your baby sleep in the car seat or cry on car journeys (like dd2). Are you getting out for walks with your ds in the pram?

Original poster
SunglassCat · 12/12/2017 10:10
Grin Ds just sleeps in the carseat and doesn't seem to be bothered. I go out on my own to town etc, I don't drive so that's not an option. 😭 I have yet to take him out myself as I have not been feeling 100% yet having C Section and been readmitted twice for hypertension (it just keeps coming, lol) Will prob join groups in the next weeks, hopefully it's not too cold anymore!
OP posts:
Chaosofcalm · 12/12/2017 10:33

SunglassCat I really think you need to talk to him and/or your HV. Your husband is either being an over protective new Dad, which is understandable but not helpful or he is trying to control you. When you say your husband is winding you up do you mean you are getting on each other’s nerves or is he trying to annoy you or is he actively being unpleasant towards you?

Catz97 · 10/01/2020 06:09

I am going through the same thing my baby she is six weeks. And she was crying today and would stop, so I tried bouncing her up and down on my my leg like she likes to and she would stop. And she started screaming so I stopped and yelled at her to stop and kinda bounced her not crazy or anything. And she still didn't stop, so I layed her on the bed and I feel like I may have been a little rough. Now she just wants me to hold her and anytime I lay her down to change her she screams. She's been supper fussy all day, I've been beating myself up about it and in tears all day. Is she ok?

Purplequalitystreet · 10/01/2020 10:39

It's not too cold to take her out
Just make sure she's well wrapped up. I agree that groups are the way forward. I've been tak8ng DS since he was 3 weeks. Hope you feel better after your c section soon. You'll feel a lot better once you're not stuck in the house

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