It just feels constant with ds (12) and dd (9) esp at the dinner table. Ds picks at everything dd does....dd now similar, back and fore, constant arguing, now ds2 (5) copying.
Ds is trying to be the big man....tries to ignore me then just act smart and say "oh yeah" then so what I asked him (an hour ago).
I told then both before dinner tonight to behave and not start arguing- it is ruining every meal for me and I dread mealtimes. They were never unruly children like you would see on supernanny etc, but it's the constant bickering and picking that's really wearing me down.
6.30pm, Dd was told to tidy up a few things in her room. half an hour later "did you tidy?" "yes" she replies. I went up, one small pile lifted, and dumped on the play room settee. The other pile still there. This is just new stuff she and her friend played with this morning. I called her up to her room, she walked past me and went to do something else unrelated. I said come here (I find that with dd I need her full attention when giving her instruction) she ignored me and continued what she was doing. I waited. And waited. Then I said "OK, don't then" and walked away. I didn't know what else to do other than scream so I avoided that. She came out after me, "Mum, I was cleaning my glasses" knowing I wanted her to come to me and glasses cleaning was not necessary when she was about to go in the bath. She was just being awkward. So I just told her to go in the bath (which was currently running for her). 5 Mins later I went to ask ds in his room about his dinner table behavior, he showed me something which we briefly chatted about then I mentioned how disappointing his behavior was etc, and he waited a few seconds and turned to me said said...."what?" he had no idea what I'd just asked him. He wasn't paying attention and I just felt so fucking frustrated. So unimportant.
I went downstairs and cried. I am so frustrated. I do everything, dh works away so I am on my own 5 days pw, and yet they repay me by just, well, walking all over me. Well, tonight it felt like it. Ds was asked to take out the ashes, the bin bag and bring in some logs. He did items no 1 and 3 and the kitchen bin bag is still in the kitchen. I told him about it and he said Oh I thought you just said put the ashes out. By this point he had had his shower and was in his pyjamas. It will now have to wait until the morning.
I give them jobs- as and when they are needed or more so for discipline. Ds has not had his ipod for about 2-3 weeks as he had it confiscated for being cheeky.
They are good kids- they are not troublesome, they are quite mature, nice kids, but I am obviously failing with discipline. I get so tired and frustrated that I end up just shouting.
WTF am I supposed to do?