Co-sleeping advice?

[Opheliasgoldenwine]

DP and myself currently co-sleep with DD, who is seven months old. DP's mother keeps saying that A) if we don't stop now then DD will be with us until she's 10 and B) when she starts crawling, she'll crawl over us and fall off. Are either of these things likely to happen? I imagine it'd be hard to stop as she's slept in with us since she was four months (had a really bad cough and I didn't like her away from me, didn't stop after as I found it was easier as she keeps spitting her dummy out and wants it back, much easier than getting up). Is she right though? I love having her in with me but I won't if I'm putting her in danger.

We have co-slept with our daughter since she was around 4 months old and she still sleeps in with us at 18 months old. It wouldn’t be everyone’s choice but as she still enjoys breastfeeding (and has been having some tough nights with teething), it works for us. As long as you take all the recommended safety precautions I wouldn’t worry too much. Our daughter is very active and has never managed to crawl over either of us and fall out of bed. I have also nannied for many families, some who co-slept and others who didn’t, but have never come across a 10 year old still in their parents bed. Some people just like to voice their opinion - if it’s not something I feel I need their advice on, I find it easiest to smile sweetly, walk away and do what suits us!

Our 18 months old has been in with us from 6 months. We have put our mattress on the floor so now we put her down in bed and then she stays there until we go to bed. When she is down she sleeps well and now she nolonger has milk we never have to get out of bed durring the night if she wakes up.

If she is still in bed with you at 10, would it be a problem? I very much doubt she would want to sleep in your bed at 10 but I know plenty of people with 5 year olds who cosleep for the second part of the night.

No she's not right. Not a or b!

About the crawling, i coslept with DD until 17/18mo and currently cosleeping with DS who's 11mo. Neither have ever crawled over me and neither have fallen off!

The safest thing to do is put the mattress on the floor. Personally I use foam wedges that sit under the sheet as bed guards. They wouldn't stop them crawling off but they do stop them rolling.

Also you can teach your DD to get off the bed safely (sliding down on tummy) from about 10mo.

Definitely ignore her comments!

There is a great book Three in a Bed by Deborah Jackson, which had lots of info and tips. Also lots of counter arguments for nay sayers!
But we put out mattress on the floor, which I think wasnt necessary, but dh was anxious. We added a single mattress when ds arrived.
We were very happy to have an open bed policy, so had dds bedroom ready, and always said that when she was a Big Girl, this is where she would sleep. She decided to go aged 3.5, and in the event, ds decided to join her on the bottom bunk. I think it worked easily because we didn't push it. We always emphasised they could come back as and when they needed, which has only ever been when they are ill.
I really believe co sleeping makes for very happy, stable kids.

I have a bed guard on one side. Its only DD & I though in a double!

I would ignore your MIL. When we had our dd (always planned to co-sleep, for at least a year or two), I heard all the horror stories. One aunt even told me and everyone in the family that I was "going to kill my baby." In actuality, it was wonderful and made our lives so much easier and I got so much more sleep than friends with babies the same age.

We planned to co-sleep long-term so never felt pressured to end it. We pretty much just waited it out until it ran it's course and our dd was ready to sleep separately. It did at the time seem like she would be with us forever! But actually it was such a short time in the larger picture and it made for an easy transition to her own room and she's a really confident sleeper now and bedtimes have always been relatively stress-free (baring teething and illness and all those things). We bedshared until she was 2 and then at 2, she moved into a floor bed in our room next to our bed. We carried on like that until 3.5 and she just announced one day that she was going to sleep in her room 'like a big girl' from then on and off she went. It really wasn't a big deal. So long as your attachment is secure, kids really do hit a point when they want to be more independent and no she won't still be in your bed when she's 10.

You will likely have to make things a bit more secure when she becomes mobile. At 8 months, ours started to crawl and she would get up and crawl in her sleep and nearly fell off the bed a few times. We had a bedguard on one side, but when she was sleeping there alone, she could obvious crawl or roll all the way to the other side and fall off. This never happened when I was actually in the bed with her, but only when we put her to bed upstairs in the evenings by herself. We fixed that by putting her to sleep in the cot in her room and then we'd bring her in when she woke up once we'd gone to bed. When she was a bit older (after 18 months), she'd just bring herself in when she woke and wanted to be with us. So you have to be mindful of them when they're mobile, but it's easy enough to adjust to.

I'm pregnant now with our 2nd and we plan to co-sleep with him for at least the first couple years or as long as it keeps working for us, so obviously no permanent scars from the experience here. I think if it's working, keep doing it until it doesn't work anymore and you're ready for a change.

Thank you all- I knew I was right 

@Ohyesiam that's lovely, I hope you're right about the happy thing