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Parenting

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Original poster

until what age is time out appropriate?

15 replies

belgo · 20/04/2007 16:41

My dds are 3 years old and 18 months.

I use 'time out' as a form of discipline, and fortunately rarely have to use it (in fact I don't think I've ever used it on dd2).

Until what age is it appropiate?

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sallyheartshapedstrawberry · 20/04/2007 16:42

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Original poster

belgo · 20/04/2007 16:42

the reason I ask is that I recently saw a TV program where time out was used in the middle of a street on a girl of about 10 years old. It just looked so embarrassing for her.

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princesscc · 20/04/2007 16:55

Job done then if she looked embarrased!

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lovemybed · 20/04/2007 19:22

my dh is 31 and i use it on him, only when he needs it though

roisin · 20/04/2007 19:33

How can you use timeout in the middle of the street?

Ds1 is nearly 10. If he misbehaves and doesn't immediately calm down and apologise I would send him to his room for 10 mins to calm down, which is a time-out in my book.

roisin · 20/04/2007 19:34

I guess it won't be long before he's a sulky teenager who wants to spend every spare minute in his room alone, so the time-out will naturally lose it's potency!

Original poster

belgo · 20/04/2007 19:35

the girl on the program was made to stand by a lamppost with her hands on her head for three minutes.

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Original poster

belgo · 20/04/2007 19:35

roisin - time out would never have worked for me either because I loved being in my bedroom.

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roisin · 20/04/2007 19:38

DS1 likes being in his room, and sometimes will be sent there and then stay there voluntarily reading a book; but I don't mind. For me time-out is about defusing a situation and preventing it escalating, and everyone calming down. It's not necessarily punishment in and of itself. He does have to consider his actions and apologise; but punishment - if required - is something separate.

MadamePlatypus · 22/04/2007 12:18

I agree with roisin - time out is so everybody can calm down and get themselves together. It can therefore be used indefinitely - even for adults, its just that you wouldn't send anybody to their room. For an older child, I think the punishment would be loss of a reward/a natural consequence, but time out would be used to stop the situation escalating e.g "please go to your room and come back when you are ready to talk calmly".

SecondhandRose · 22/04/2007 12:21

Use it on my 12 year old, works fine. We don't use the stairs though!

Budababe · 22/04/2007 12:32

I use half way up the stairs on DS - he's 5.5 - if it is a punishment - just send him to his room if he needs to calm down.

Still use time out on myself though and I am nearly 43!!!

jomist · 22/04/2007 12:46

I tried the stairs method until ds1 sat there and used his time, not to reflect upon his behavior, but to peel the wallpaper. Then I figured his room was the best place even though he didn't mind being in there, at least he was away from me so I could calm down and not over-react.

I still use it now for both dcs at 13 and 10.

DumbledoresGirl · 22/04/2007 12:48

I send mine to their room occasionally - is that time out? If so, the one who gets sent to his room the most is my eldest who is 10, nearly 11.

I dodn't really care if he is soon going to spend all his time in his room and therefore being sent to his room is no longer a punishment. To me, sending him to his room is not really about punsihing him per se, more about defusing the situation.

Loshad · 23/04/2007 21:39

don't know about appropriate, but it certainly doesn't work any longer on my DS1 (13) - it doens't make him calm down, or think about his actions. works well on DS4 (6) used occasionally, probably would work on ds3 (9) if needed, and i use it for DS2 (11) but think it's coming to the end of it's uses, and removal of priviledges for the older 2 is more effective (eg msn time!)

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