Any advice/tips for returning to work?

[Ritualunion]

My mat leave is drawing to an end and I’m due back to work in the new year. I’m sure everything will be fine but I’m a bit anxious about establishing a new routine and managing to fit everything in!

I fully expect the first couple of months will be pretty tough going with the transition. Does anyone have any tips or advice?

Hi

I am also going back on 2nd Jan for the second time after maternity.

Main thing that I learnt last time was to be extra organised. I bought loads of stuff in advance so I was stocked up and will do so again - loads of wipes, nappies, jar food (jic) etc.

I got everything ready the night before including my clothes laid out and packed my car with all the bags etc. I also have flexi time which takes the pressure off having to get to work at a set time.

Are you using a nursery? To be honest the worst thing for me were the nursery bugs which we all got for the first six months and that my DD did not sleep through the night for several months after I returned to work. I will be in the same boat this time.

Are you ready/excited or worried? I'm ready to go back this time as I see it as my own time lol xx

Thanks for replying Chosen, I’m also going back on 2nd Jan. It feels pretty brutal to be celebrating NYD then boom, straight back to work! I’m feeling very mixed about it, on one hand dreading work but on the other hand it’ll good to reintegrate into society, so to speak! I’m also glad to be able to share caring and household responsibilities - both my DH and I will be switching to four days a week, and DS will go to a childminder for three days. I’m hoping he’ll get fewer bugs as there’s only two other children there, but CM was honest and said they still get sick just as often as nursery since the children are taken care of in different settings through the week. My immune system’s pretty rubbish atm due to sleep deprivation so I’m totally expecting to pick up all sorts of germs.

Good tips about getting everything sorted in advance, I’ll gey a big shop done and maybe some meals prepped and frozen for the first couple of weeks.

Did you do any KIT days with work or are you just going to get your head round everything once you’re back?

Aww yes I'm a bit worried about the no sleep again - I found it hard last time. How is your LO sleeping? Mine hasn't slept through yet and is up at least twice a night - he also gets up very early most days.

You have a similar set up to me - my DH works shifts as a doctor so he is looking after our two one day a week and I have compressed so I am off one day too.

I remember last time I had a bit of a panic feeling about a week/2 weeks in that it was all a bit overwhelming for me. This then passed as I settled back in and it just became the new normal after that.

I have done a few KIT days but they were kind of pointless as my job is client based so I didn't have any clients whilst I was off. Did you do any KIT days?

Glad you have found a good childminder :)

My LO sounds like yours sleepwise! Never slept through either, up about 3 times a night. He has a strong sleep association with the boob, which I’m trying to break! I’m trying to drop a nightfeed at the moment in an attempt to get a longer stretch of sleep - currently sitting in the nursery with a snoring baby on my lap, waiting for him to be in a deep enough sleep to transfer into the cot!

I’ve not had a KIT day, just one quick meeting. My boss hasn’t asked me to come in again and I haven’t instigated another, so I’m supposing he is expecting to to just get up to speed once I’m back.

Yeah I’m feeling much better about going back now we have the CM in place. I’m sure that won’t stop me fretting about him when I’m back though! Precious first born I’ve only left him a few times since he was born, and that’s only been for a few hours!

Hi can I join you? I'm back second week in January and I'm dreading it. This is the third time round for me and honestly this time feels worse. I really enjoyed my mat leave and still actually struggle to get everything done without working. I'll be doing 4 days and I've no idea how I will cope.
I'm also really worried that ds won't settle in nursery as he's spent the past 9 months superglue to me both sleeping and waking.
I'm terrified. He also doesn't sleep through and most nights ends up in bed with me. I'm tired now and that's without work!!!

Hi Revels, yes please do join in I take my hat off to you with three - I’m sure you must be an organisational whizz without even realising it!

My DS is also like superglue to me, we had our settling in sessions with the CM this week and they had one very upset boy to deal with! He cried more or less the whole time. I found the first drop off hard, so today I got my DH to do it. I definitely felt less anxious about it that way.

My boy has never slept through, and if he has it his way he’d BF all day and night if he could! I’m doing some gentle night weaning atm, which is going ok. We had the best solid block of sleep we’ve ever had last night, am praying it wasn’t a flukey one off!

I’m worried about getting everything done too. DH agreed to getting a cleaner in every so often to help keep on top of things. We had a deep clean done during my mat leave and it was worth every penny. We can’t afford to have it a regular thing but a few times a year should be doable.

Definitely organisation is key.
My wee one was ten months i think when I went back. So bag's packed night before, all clothes out ready, bus fare out with jacket. I remember I had a note pinned that said bags bottle's teeth money haha just til I was in the swing of things.
I do some housework when she is in th bath like tidy the bathroom (it's tiny) when I get up I make the bed pick up clothes (gorilla buckets) and try to leave the house in not too bad a way.

I went back to work full time recently with a teething non sleeper. Commiserations.

If you've got leave left and your boss will let you, book a few half days scattered around when your tot is in childcare and use it purely to SLEEP. Think it was the only thing that saved my sanity.

Thanks, yes good advice, get everything sorted the night before. I’ve already said to DH that I’m going to be really boring for the first couple of months and go to bed early each night. I might ‘treat’ myself to a TV programme and glass of wine, then off to bed!

We should do an update during the first week - I am also worried about how I am going to fit in everything and work 4 days?!

Going to book some leave asap like pp said so as I have something to aim for!

I am looking forward to a hot coffee though and some head space!

I am also worried about getting out the house - the other day I aimed to leave by 9 but by 10 I wasn't out of PJs. The first nap of the day is really annoying cuz if he has been up all night and woke early he will want to nap around 9ish so be difficult around that time. Do both of you have really good routines in place? Mine is fine with eating but the sleep is really dictated by the night before....I'm going to struggle again arnt I!

X

Thanks Notlost, definitely a good idea. Sod’s law I won’t be able to sleep on my days off! Will probably end up just cleaning or something equally unrelaxing.

Chosen - yeah I’ll definitely report back to let you know if I manage to survive the first week!

No nap routine here...well it was fairly consistent at one stage, morning nap about 9.30/10am then afternoon nap about 1.30/2pm but recently it’s been hit and miss. I think DS thinks he’s ready to drop his morning nap but he really doesn’t have the stamina to go without it. Bedtime has become later as well, he’s not going down until 8.30/45 whereas it used to be an hour or so earlier. He’s not a creature of habit!

When I went back to work both dc sleep improved dramatically they were so shattered from nursery.

Keep expectations fairly low for your days off at first and make sure you both use them to do some washing, running out of work clothes is unnecessarily stressful.

Online shop, even if you just reorder the week before. And get some ready meals in for the first few weeks when you just can't be bothered.

Enjoy the adult conversation

Oh yeah we get delivery saver from tesco so handy.
Haha enjoy the late nights I'm usually in bed before ten every night now. Up at 6 tho.

Trilby, ooh I’m hoping my DS will be tired out from being with the childminder. That would be a huge bonus if so!

Yeah my expectations are pretty low. Survival is good, anything more is a plus!

@ritualunion are you ready to go back, sorted thing for tomorrow? I am getting worried now about keeping up with the pace of both work and home life!!

I have everything practical sorted for first week but after that who knows!!

Good luck tomoz xx

Also my DS has a cold so isn't sleeping. He has been ill for the whole last month of my maternity leave almost constantly - I feel quite run down but will do my best!

Might start a support thread about no sleep and working!! X

Can I join in? Not going back until the end of February but already trying to prepare myself!
Would love done if your tips/ anecdotes about the first couple of weeks 😁

Hi Chosen, and Egg!

Thanks for checking in, I suppose I’m ready as I’ll ever be! Got everything packed ready for the morning. DH was laughing at me as I’ve even laid out my underwear and socks ready to put on! I said it might seem OTT but helps me feel prepared!

I am a bit worried about looking on it and being able to focus at work, but I tell myself I have to fake it til I make it...

My DS’s sleep has been all over the shop too due to a terrible bout of teething pain (think his first set of molars are causing problems) and the excitement of Christmas. On Christmas Eve he did not nap at all during the day and didn’t sleep until about 9pm. I thought he’d be out for the count but he was up and down all night...gah!

Good luck to you too! We can do this!

Hi! I'm back to work on Wednesday after my second and I'm actually really excited! I had a coffee with my manager last month (and checked my emails periodically) and I have some interesting projects to get stuck into.
Totally agree with others re being organised; bags packed the night before and get a load of laundry on as soon as you walk through the door in the evening. I've just signed up for a Gusto meal box too so (hopefully) I'll have some easy and tasty evening meals for DH and I that will require minimum effort.
We annoyingly had one day of childcare fall through at the very last minute (less than a week before Christmas) so I was due to go back to my usual four days, but now can only do three for the foreseeable future. Quite frustrating but childcare is a bit of a struggle where we live. I'm hoping work will be understanding but it should only be short term.

Hi Dozy, good luck for today!

That’s annoying about your childcare, hope you can find someone for that extra day soon.

How did you get on yesterday, Chosen?

My first day was surprisingly unpainful, although I think I was running on about 80% adrenaline and caffeine, and enjoying the novelty of being in a different environment!

DS wasn’t happy at the CM but at least he napped and ate while he was there, so that’s all I could ask for really. He didn’t drink a drop of the expressed BM I’d lovingly prepared for him (!) so I was worried he’d be up all night, but he wasn’t any worse than usual. So all things considered it was a decent first 24 hours into life as a working mum!

Hi hi hi Ritual and dozy!

Sorry it's taken me a few days to reply! Well my first few days have been uneventful too! Have enjoyed being out chatting to people I've not seen for ages and drinking hot coffee again haha!

DS got on well at the nursery but we had him there for short days to start off with. Real test will probably be next week when it's longer days - I hope he is ok.

I don't work Friday's so that is my week done. Hope it went well Dozy and please update Ritual - is your DS settled with the CM now?

:)

Sounds like it went fairly smoothly for everyone then?! Baby had her first full day with the CM today and did really well - happy and chipper when I picked her up. I think it helped that she had her big brother with her, and that she had massive two hour nap which she never bloody does for me!
I don't know about you but I am exhausted! Sitting down all day staring at a screen has really worn me out trying to drag myself off to bed now.
Next week will be the true test when we have to all be out of the house at the same time, multiple days in a row!

Ah glad to hear everyone’s first days have gone smoothly. Yeah I’ve been enjoying chatting to people, probably a bit too much!

The only negative for me so far is my manager has been rather crap (when he walked in on my first day back he just said a cursory ‘morning’ and trudged past my desk without acknowledging my presence!) I had to go into his office insisting he sat down to speak to me and you know, talk to me about work?! Anyway...

DS was very upset at the CM for the first couple of days, but yesterday he was relatively calm for most of the day, and actually played and interacted happily, and ate and napped well. We were lucky as the CM didn’t have any other children in this week, so they’ve been able to give DS all their attention, which I think has helped.

I’m amazed at how quickly he’s adjusting given that I’ve never left him. He’s at home with my DH today, will be with me on Monday and then back to CM on Tuesday. Hopefully he won’t be mad when he realises he’s going back there!

Yes I’m knackered too! I’ve been going to bed straight after I put DS down to bed. He’s still waking for a couple of night feeds but fortunately going back down quite quickly. Thank goodness!

Hope you all have a good week next week, please keep us updated

Hey,

How is it going for everyone? I am finding it hard but I think we are doing a good job!

Getting out the house in the morning is nearly impossible!!!

My job is going well but I think I am rushing around like a headless chicken! :) xx

Hi Chosen, glad to hear all’s well. Can you believe it’s been a month since we’ve returned to work! It’s flown by.

I’m actually (surprisingly!) enjoying being back in the office, I had so much dread beforehand but I’ve got a renewed enthusiasm for work and I feel like I’ve been extra productive since coming back. Long may this feeling continue!

DS is settling in really nicely with the CM so I don’t worry about him when I’m in work. I love my day at home with him, I like to pretend I’m still on mat leave when it was just the two of us at home :)

Struggling with domestic stuff though like keeping on top of housework and meal prep. DH is also working four days, so in theory house stuff should be split equally between us but....sadly not! Spending a full day at home with DS has been a real shift for DH - he is knackered by the end of the day. I scoff, but TBF, DS is completely different with DH - hyper and giddy and refuses to nap all day! To be truthful, I’m enjoying my new routine but probably DH found it much easier (and preferable!) before. But that said, both of us agree it’s important for the two of them to bond... we will get there. I tell my DH that we have to ride out this transition period, it’ll get easier.

Hope everyone else is doing ok too!