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Parenting

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Original poster

Second Child Guilt

3 replies

TypicallyJadedMummy · 08/12/2017 19:29

Hi all,

I have a 3 year old girl. My partner has been involved since she was born, but they are not biologically related. As far as she's concerned, he's daddy (bio father took off during pregnancy and has not bothered since).

I've always kind of fretted about the day I'd have to explain this situation to her but now that I'm pregnant with my second, I wonder if having a sibling biologically related to both parents will have an impact on her at all growing up. She has a great bond with us both, but is a demanding/strong willed child (hello tantrums!). That's not to say that she will always be this way as she grows...

I know this is common for many families, and it hasn't been a bother. I do know of someone who adopted their daughter as a baby, and at an older age has declared, "You are not my dad!" during outbursts (and other instances).

I'm hoping anyone on here could give me a quick insight on their experience (or someone they know) in this situation to ease my hormonal/pregnant mind..

OP posts:

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Allhallowseve · 08/12/2017 19:33

Not experience in this . But just wanted to say you feel guilty even if your first is related !
I think it’s obvious you care so much for your dd that your concerned . Your a lovely mummy and she will have a new baby brother or sister soon which is very special .
I’m sure others will be along soon with more experience in this.

Tinselistacky · 08/12/2017 19:38

My dh is a great step dad, dc call him df although they know he isn't . We have a toddler also and have never encountered any rivalry /disrespect to dh in 5 years!!
They are 12,10,9+3 and older ones don't see their biological df.

educatingarti · 08/12/2017 19:45

To be fair, you are better tackling this now so that it seems "normal" to her and part of what she has always known than leaving it till she is older. It could be something very simple. DP wasn't always your Daddy, you did have another Daddy to start with but he wasn't able to stay and look after you. But now DP is your daddy and it is really lovely because he is always going to stay and look after you and new baby. He is a lovely daddy isn't he. It's great fun when he plays X with you isn't it. What things do you like to do with your daddy? She will probably need this 'story' repeating a lot of times.

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