How often do your children see their grandparents if you live overseas

[user1475317873]

Not sure where to post this question but was wondering how often do you see your parents and your children their grandparents if you live overseas.I feel I am not visiting often enough and feel sorry the children don't get to see their grandparents much.

We live a six hour flight from London (and neither set of grandparents is anywhere near London). We Skype/FaceTime/WhatsApp very regularly. We last were in the U.K. As a whole family in Sept 2016 and will next be there in June. However that will be the longest stint we have ever done without travelling back (next longest is about 14 months). My parents came to visit a few months ago so we have seen them in that time.

Meant to add that the kids have a close relationship with my parents, despite the distance and are in v regular contact, even about little things.

When we were overseas (age 0-8 for DS, 0-4 for DD), it was a 12-hour flight away and we came back once a year, so they saw grandparents for a week or two every summer. The trip was too long and grandparents' health not good enough for them to come over to see us more than once or twice during that time.

We have been away 18 months, they have been out once, and we are about to go back for the first time. We are due to be here another 18 months but there hasn’t been any talk of them coming again. I’m hoping it’ll come up over Christmas. It’s a 14 hour flight and MiL isn’t good on planes. We may go back again in another 6 months, but that would be it I think until we go back for good.

We live a 12 hr flight away. I take the dc back in the summer for 5 weeks and then we go back every other Christmas. My parents also come out to see us every easter.

We live a 1 hour flight away and I take DD to see paternal grandparents one weekend per month, but that's to see DSDs as well, so would be less if it wasn't for them as the grandparents aren't really that bothered. My parents live in the middle of nowhere and we see them every couple of months, mostly with them coming to us.

My parents live in Aus and we go back every 2/2.5 years. IL live in Ireland and we see them about 6 times a year with a mix of us there or them here (and a week in the sun with them every year )

Skype my parents every week.

Going home soon and this will be the first time they've seen dd2 in the flesh and she's 2.

We'll probably move home in the next 2 years.

We see my mum once per year - she comes to us. Last saw the inlaws in 2010. We pay for flights, but they don't seem interested in coming out and I have now stopped asking. It was the same when we lived in Europe. Dd is 11 and they have seen her twice.

Also UK/Oz, kids have probably been back every 3 years on average I guess, grandparents probably make it over about the same. My mother slightly more often but now we're trying to work out how she can move back here in a reasonable time frame. (have you any idea how long it takes to pack up a house for sale that you've been in nearly 50 years, when anything being kept will have to be shipped? and family (low value) heirlooms are involved?)

Growing up, we did the reverse trip about every 4 years, grandparents never. Phone calls were more expensive so infrequent and we didn't get to speak on them until older! My husband similarly had just a couple of trips to see his grandmother I think, though she may have managed to get to Oz once too.

A big problem with UK/Oz is the time zone and climate differences - if you go for just a week or 2 you spend all or most of your trip jet-lagged as well as recovery time after you get back. So the best option with older school-aged children is UK summer holidays but that means they miss out on much of their summer by going to winter, albeit a mild one. So even in a money-no-object situation we wouldn't do a trip every summer the way some families do when only the northern hemisphere is involved.

When I lived in the UK it used to be once a year. But they were in mainland Europe.
They visited twice before DS was 5.

I live in Middle East, not in an airport hub so we usually have 1 1hr flight, layover, 1 8 hour flight followed by a 4 hour car journey to get back ‘home’. It usually takes us 24 hours door to door.

We’ve been back twice so far with my DD who is 17 months with my DM coming out when she was born. My MIL refuses to travel so has never visited.

We are expecting another baby next year and will not be returning for about 15 months to home.
Nobody seems to understand how expensive it is for us to go home, car rental, accommodation etc as well as the actual flights. TBH we’ve probably went home too often and people really take it for granted. I’m not interested in traveling so much with 2 children. Family know where we live so if they want to come and visit they can. My SIL has moved to where we live thankfully so DD has one aunt here to bond with.

Just to put a slightly different slant on this thread I live less than 5 minutes from my parents. When my children were little I had high hopes of a close relationship between them and my parents. I soon realised that it was actually only me making the effort and my parents would go for months without seeing them (they are fit and active so this wasn't an issue) they just weren't interested and now my children are teenagers they have no close bond with them. In many ways I was envious of people who had Grandparents who lived away as it seemed that the time they spent together was used well and they had extended visits with them. Mine just remember being plonked in front of the TV at their Grandparent's house.

We are 12 hours away and go once a year. Can't do it more often because it's just so expensive!

We've only visited them once in 5 years. It's too expensive for all 3 (soon to be 4) of us to fly there. But my mum is retired and they have a very comfortable life (my stepdad is still working and earns more than I could ever dream of). She flies to see us usually about 3-4 times a year and stays for a week. Maybe once every year or year and a half they both come for a week.

We are NC with my MIL/Step-FIL now, but even when we weren't, they live a little over an hour from us, and my family still saw us more. We do a skype call maybe once every 2 weeks.

That works for us and I feel like we have lots of quality time together. It would be lovely if they lived closer but I've not lived near by family in about 15 years, so we always knew it would be like this. I worry much more about when they get older and need care as there's no one around to care for them (I'm an only child). We're hoping maybe one day they might buy or rent somewhere here and come and stay for part of the year once they're both retired.

About once a year, it's 10+ hours travelling door to door and expensive so can't do it more often. Parents are ill so they don't travel abroad anymore. Weekly Skype or phone calls and regular updates via picture sharing. Pp made a good point that living close doesn't necessarily mean close relationship or frequent contact. When I lived 20 minutes from my parents we could go 6 months without any visits and limited contact. And that was when they were healthy and active.

We are only an hours flight (easyjet) away from my parents so they come out around 4x a year for 5-10 days. They are both retired and my dad is great at keeping an eye on easyjet and books the flights months in advance when they are very cheap (they are bringing my niece in Feb for less than 100 return for all 3 of them). My dad has an ipad so the kids facetime him constantly which he loves and we go back a couple of times a year or he will fly over and take the kids back with him so they have a fantastic relationship.

My in-laws, although the same age are not as mobile but usually come over 1 a year (they had never flown before we moved here) and stay for 3 weeks. We try and get back and see them once / twice a year. They don't facetime or skype much so although they love each other the relationship is not as close as with my parents.

It's such a tough one really as we always feel we should go back more but equally (and I do appreciate we moved so it is up to us to make the effort) I do resent the fact that most annual leave and spare money goes on going back, it's usually tiring and stressful, we end up stuck in the car for long periods of time and sleeping on blow up beds, trying to fit in around everyone else as their lives continue as normal while it is assumed we are on holiday so free all the time, all of this is at the expense of a family holiday. Can't you tell I am a little bitter at the upcoming Christmas trip (we have never had a family Christmas just the 4 of us relaxing at home )

24hr flight here, and go once a year. Would rather spend my money on family than anything else. Would go twice a year if there was a way to afford it. The flights not that bad, you get used to it.

we are in the middle east but it's a very long journey For my parents as they are not in mainland Uk – think 18 hours door to door. Despite this they make that journey every year, at least once and often twice.

It is half the cost for them to come here than it would be for the three of us to go home, book hotels. Hire cars/take trains etc. they also love the weather here.

We used to be 11hrs door to door.
Two weeks in the UK every Summer and ten days in April when they'd come here or we'd visit them. They had a close relationship with my DC by phone calls and photos (before Skype) especially with DC1 as they were in good health.

I think it's important emotionally and linguistically until the kids are about 10. After that they can choose to come. Same with GP on the other side.
We still go back once a year but no GP unfortunately.

One hour flight away here. My Mum comes once a month for 3/4 days and I go to her for a week every 6-8 weeks. ILs have been twice. They both work full time and SIL and BIL also live abroad so they have to split their time between them. My DB lives with my Mum so less of an issue!

Thank you for all the responses.

My parents are 14 hour away and my husband parents 21 hours so we do every other year sometimes longer.

Need to do skype, what's up, photos, videos more often I think. Also hoping to see my parents at least once a year for the long school holiday from now on. I think it gets harder when your parents get older

8 hour flight from fil and two hour flight or 13 hour car journey from mil. They come to us roughly 3-4 times a year for a few weeks. Weekly facetime. We haven't been to either of them yet.

We're in London and all our families are in Ireland. My son sees his grandparents around 6-8 times a year, a mix of us travelling and them travelling, with weekly video chat.