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Parenting

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Original poster

What makes a good mummy?/how do you know if you're a good mummy?

23 replies

munz · 19/04/2007 12:33

cos I don't always feel I am a good mum, so any thoughts?

I play with him look after him he's clean/freshly pressed as it were. but also challenging so sometimes I do get upset

so come on olde wise people what makes a good mum - and how do you knwo you're doing the right thing?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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OrmIrian · 19/04/2007 12:35

I'm the best mummy my kids have got.

ArcticRoll · 19/04/2007 12:36

Don't think anyone can be a'good' mum all time munz.
Best to think of aiming for 'good enough'.

Carmenere · 19/04/2007 12:36

I'm a good mother because I love her and do my best for her which is all a mother can do.

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MerryMarigold · 19/04/2007 12:39

wow, a hard question as people disagree on so many things.

in my opinion a good mum is of course someone who loves their child and shows that through affection and interest (playing with dc/ reading with/ to) as well as taking care of physical needs (feeding etc). something i also think is important is to give them freedom to discover, and be themselves. personally, i find a lot of mums these days are quite over protective.

something a friend of mine said to me (she read it somewhere) is that you need to give your children roots and wings. i love that. they need security and freedom - however, you choose to provide that.

MerryMarigold · 19/04/2007 12:41

also knowing that you're never going to be perfect is a good place to start! you are allowed to make mistakes...

Eleusis · 19/04/2007 12:43

Carmenere, go here

Eleusis · 19/04/2007 12:44

If you and he are both happy and healthy, then you are a fab mummy. Don't beat yourself up worrying about failing you can't even identify -- possibly because they don't exist.

zephyrcat · 19/04/2007 12:45

Agree it's quite a hard question as different things have different meanings to people. I like the give them roots and wings thing, that sums it up quite nicely.

I think as log as you give them the best you can and they are happy then you can't be going wrong!!

For me, I always like when a stranger comments on them being well mannered, well behaved etc. That tells me I'm doing something right!

Original poster

munz · 19/04/2007 12:46

MM- that's what i'm aiming for - wings and roots. but ti's so hard. I don't think you quite apriciate really do you hwat it's going to be like being a mum?

(and I certyainly don't get it right all the time! lol) - oh to be one of those mothers! lol.

OP posts:

MerlinsBeard · 19/04/2007 12:47

without reading the other replies...you are a good mum if your children are happy most of the time,fed and watered. They don't need to be clean - sometimes my kids are their hapiest when they have been messing around in the park and are covered in dirt.

They also need to know they are loved because of who they are, regardless of how old they are

Original poster

munz · 19/04/2007 12:47

actually zeph - we've always said as long as he's good for others etc then we'll be happy - and give him his due he's alwasy fab for others eats nicely etc - well as nicely as he can do! lol. so must be teaching him something right! lol.

OP posts:

custy · 19/04/2007 12:48

guarentee your kids will remember any bad stuff when they hit 18

wildwoman · 19/04/2007 12:48

I was thinking about this the other day...conclusion I am a pants mother

Original poster

munz · 19/04/2007 12:48

custy

OP posts:

zephyrcat · 19/04/2007 12:54

It'll always be hard and I don't think there's anyone who is perfect! Every stage of their life will bring new challenges for you. You just have to give it your best shot!

expatinscotland · 19/04/2007 12:56

My mother isn't a good mummy, she's a great one!

In addition to loving us unconditionally, she loves herself, her marriage and her life.

What better example of a way to live can you get?

saadia · 19/04/2007 13:11

I think it's about making your children feel good about themselves - through giving them security, discipline, healthy lifestyle, intellectual stimulation, and most importantly, fun.

FioFio · 19/04/2007 13:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Elibean · 19/04/2007 14:47

expat

think you've hit the nail on the head

and your mum sounds wonderful.

Eleusis · 19/04/2007 15:22

Oh blagth, expat. That was sooo mushy.

chenin · 19/04/2007 15:30

I think to keep in your head that your children are lent to you... they are not yours as such...

they are lent to you for a short time until ready to fly the nest.

Yes, custy you are so right... kids remember all the bad things at 18 onwards! Mine will be in therapy as adults cos I never let them have a dog!

mamma2kids · 20/04/2007 12:29

I read something that made sense to me.
The main job of parents is to make a happy home.
Most learning etc takes place out in the world (school, life etc), external influences and personality(that you're born with) are the biggest factors in shaping the child into the adult they become.
So relax a little and have fun with your kids.

JARM · 20/04/2007 12:34

Munz - stop fretting will ya!

You know you are a good mum, you are the only mum J has and therefore, it is plenty good enough.

He's a cheeky little chap and is well loved and cared for.

I dont think im a great mum most of the time, but thats because i have ishoos with regards to my relationship with my mum, but as she is no longer here, I cant address them properly.

For me, as long as my girls know right from wrong, can be independant and express themselves in a way that means I wont have the police knocking on the door in 10-15 years time, I know I have done well.

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