How much time does your 10 year old spend in their room?

[stormnigel]

Just trying to gauge what is normal...dd2 has started to spend a lot of time in her room away from us in the evenings these past 5 months or so.
She is generally pottering about or on her phone to her friends.she seems ok generally but a little quiet (which I put down to growing up a bit). Nothing bad going on at school or anything like that.

It's not an issue really except I miss her a bit!
Her older sister (nearly 12) also spends a bit of time in her room but usually comes down to watch tv or chat with us for an hour to two in the evenings. I feel like we are leaving dd2 out but she says she is fine.

When I was 10 I was similar to dd2. Just trying to work out if it's an issue necessarily or if I should be making her come down and sit with us...

I have two DDs aged 13 and almost 10. My 13 year old we barely see...which I gather is normal.

I'd be slightly concerned if my 10 year old went down that path..it seems a bit early.

She shouldn't be on her phone alone at that age really...do you have access to it? Have you checked it much?

Has she been ok with her friends?

My almost 10 year old is still very much into smashing round the garden and playing with the dog....her older sister disapeared into her room when she was about 12.

I do check it. Nothing much on it. And she is generally chatting away to her friends via FaceTime as I can hear them cackling away...
I might start removing the phone earlier-I currently take it at 8.30-she goes to bed at 9.15 as a rule.

My daughter aged almost 10 doesn’t even have her iPad unsupervised when using the net.

She likes to be around us and plays with her sister also I’d be removing that phone at 8 at the latest

I agree with Redhead. None of my dds friends even have access to their own phones in this fashion until they're in high school and even then it's closely monitored.

Well I guess some of DD's do or else she would have no one to be talking to...they are year 6, not 5 (so 10 and three quarters I guess) and not far off high school.
I do take the point about limiting it more however...

No tech upstairs, that means phones, ipads computers. Mind you Ds2 (10) isn't allowed a phone year anyway. He'll get one next year but our rule (for DS1) is that it goes in the drawer by 7pm.

My dc only sleep in their rooms!!

Ds (10) just sleeps in his room really. Occasionally he’ll disappear for a bit to play with his Lego. He wouldn’t be allowed a phone in there if he had one, nor a tablet or whatever.

DS2 goes up to his bedroom to read sometimes and he'll occasionally go up and play with lego but most of the time he brings things down.

DS2 is also in bed with lights out by 8pm

I have two ten year olds.

One likes to sit with the family and only really uses their room for sleeping. The other needs lots of personal space and spends a lot of time alone in their room playing, drawing or reading.

Horses for courses. Each child has their own personality.

My ten year old, yr 5, spends his time with us or in the play room. However he does not have a phone.

12 yr old spends time in her room, doing homework, but otherwise is in communal area (lounge/kitchen).

DDs 1 and 2, 18 and 13 I barely see as they are in their room on tablets, phones or laptop. Dd2 likes to paint in her room too.
Dd3 11 is not allowed tech in her room unless agreed for listening to music. She spends 85% of her time in the living room.

My 10 ye old DD spends most her time in her room. On a school night she will go straight upstairs, practice her guitar then she will read until dinner time. After dinner she spends about 30-45 mins downstairs playing with her toddler sisters. Then when we start the bedtime routine with younger kids, 'quiet time' she will go back upstairs, read again or stitch for an hour and spend about an hour on phone playing games and texting friends.
Weekends we see her after each meal for about 30-45 mins after. Then sge will take herself upstairs.
Twice a week I encourage her to come downstairs once younger girls are in bed, to play a board game or watch a film with myself and DP. Sometimes she will, sometimes she wants to stay upstairs.
I wouldn't say its a massive issue. I do miss her though.

My ds (11) spends a bit of time in his room but also comes to chat to us.

At age 10 he was always downstairs playing or watching tv. It's hard when you miss them isn't it even when they're upstairs. Me and dp are struggling with that as he is our only child.

I don't allow phones/iPads upstairs. And definitely not using them after 7.30. I check his phone very regularly. He's got a little girlfriend at the moment. They only see each other at school. What's he point I know. And he started deleting Instagram messages from her. Not sure how to handle that.

It's a tricky age as some 10 year olds are have started puberty, some have periods, some are still a long way off.
It doesn't always run in families either - I know of 2 sisters and the youngest started to go through puberty before her big sister.

A bit surprised that a 10 yr old has a phone. Definitely not the norm where I am. 12 seems to be this normal age

Not here. Plus she walks home so I'd sooner she had one. she isn't on it all the time when in her room-she potters, she reads...etc etc.
The phone wasn't the main point anyway-it was more her choosing to be away from us.
I don't want to force her to come down as then she will feel resentful-I just want her to want to. We get on really well, I just feel her distancing herself a bit. But I suppose I need to get used to it. She is old for her age. I wouldn't be surprised if she started her periods soon-the signs are all there.