Hi, I just had a heart-breaking chat with my 12 yr old son about his self esteem. He feels ugly, and won't even allow me to take photographs anymore. He won't even glance at himself in the mirror when he tries on clothes. He said that he hates how tall he is, his spots and the fact he looks older than the other boys. He wishes he wasn't a girl or a boy, just gender neutral. I read everything I could and came prepped to the chat with all sorts of advice and things to try, but I feel like I massively failed to get through. He was resistant, made frustrated noises, looked sad, flinched away from me covering his face and didn't seem happier after sharing. I am so worried about this, because although I know its normal for tweens when they hit puberty to have low self-esteem, this is all too familiar to me and I remember exactly how this felt. It affected my life so badly that I made some terrible decisions, was taken advantage of, didn't have any confidence which meant I didn't pursue my goals etc and I feel like I am watching history repeat itself. I have quite good self esteem now thanks to therapy so feel like I am not showing him negative behaviours, and I have made such efforts to not be like my own critical, shaming mother I don't understand why the result has been the same. I tell him how beautiful he is, but he doesn't believe me. Bullies at school tell him he is "disgusting" because he is gay, so I think that really reinforces the low self-worth, even though he knows homophobia is their problem not his, I think the words still scar. The school are not very helpful, and it happens so much its almost impossible to stop unless I home school him. How do I help him? HELP!