How to get 3yo to poo in toilet?!

[SleepForTheWeek]

Will try to keep as brief as possible.

DD1 is 3, she has been out of nappies since 2.5yo and hasn't had one accident - her bladder control is truest remarkable - BUT she won't poo in the toilet come hell or high water. She will only go in a nappy.

Back story : she was badly constipated when she was 2 and as a result started stool withholding. It's an on going issue but she's on Movicol daily which has made her regular and it's no longer an issue having a bowel movement , as long as she has a nappy on.

The problem is, she will literally just hold on to it until medical intervention if I don't let her poo in a nappy.

What is the best way to tackle it??

Any advice welcome

DD was just like this - wee trained at 2.5, but would only poo in her pants at home (though the at home bit made it much easier). At 3.5 she decided she was ready to poo on the potty - I think a couple of days of diarrhoea helped (sorry!), as it would just come out when she was weeing on the potty, and she got handsomely rewarded!

We did pretty much anything to avoid withholding - a friend's son did that, and leaks and is on movicol now age 9; you don't want that (in case you were wondering!). We stayed calm, and washed a lot of pants.

Hope that's encouraging.

To be honest, what harm is it causing her asking for a nappy and doing poos in there? It’s definitely preferable to withholding. I would just not mention it at all, let her have a nappy when she asks for one and see what happens in a few months

A couple of small things I might try in the meantime if you’re not already:

1. Does she normally go to the same place to have a poo? If so, maybe leave a potty there in case she decides to use it (without saying anything to her)

1. After she’s pooed, tip it out of the nappy into the toilet and flush it away. Let her see what you’re doing if she wants but again don’t bring the subject up with her

Watching with interest as I posted a similar problem. Dd is trying to use the potty and toilet now though which is actually making matters worse as she is holding it in more and we are trying to get her to go in her nappy. She kniws where there are and puts one on but gets seem to relax to get a poo out. I might try a poo dance as suggested! I am going to make a doctors appointment as she us now telling me she is worried to poo as it hurts. We are praising, bribing, rewarding, telling her how much we love pooing! Anything to get her to go.

SleepForTheWeek oh bless her I hope you find something that works

@sleepfortheweek you said when your dd was witholding her bwhaviour was awful. Did you connect this to constipation/witholding? I'm sure when my dd really needs to go or is holding it her behaviour and moods go downhill and just seems odd. I can't see how it is connected but I am sure it is.

I know that my dd really struggled when she was needing to go thatis. We would notice the downturn in behaviour first then she would be in clear pain. She would withhold for up to seven days at a time though so I am not surprised she became difficult

Hanks again, loads of helpful info and reassuring to know we are not alone!

Will have a look at ERIC - maybe getting her to go in a nappy in the bathroom is a small enough step that she might just co operate!

@Thishatisnotmine yes her behaviour is definitely related to the withholding. I think she he's stressed and uncomfortable and it has a big impact on her demeanour.

Thinks are going well at the moment, she poos once a day and its not causing any issues, but obviously I would like to wean her off the nappy.

Same here! DD is 3 next week. been using the toilet for a wee reliably since April (at her request) but still wants to wear a pull up for a poo.

We gradually moved her to being in the bathroom to go and then sitting on toilet with pull up on (did this by reading a particular favourite book that we save for poo times). Although this is a big step forward she still wants to wear a pull up on the toilet. Did the hole/flap in bottom of pull up thing and she was massively impressed she’d poo’d in the loo but then got very anxious the next time that the pull up didn’t have a hole in, so we’ve backed off on that tact. For now I’m just happy she’ll sit on the toilet. We don’t mention it at all and we don’t offer her a pull up until she asks for one, which is usually after she’s sat down on the toilet.

Reassuring to read that most kids eventually just get it.

Poo poo stickers worked for us.

DS would only poo in a nappy but we had pull ups and he would just sort himself out when the time came and I'd wipe him after. It was a pain but to be honest the only thing that worked was to stop mentioning it and let him do it in his own time. We did read Pirate Pete which he was quite keen on. At some point he started using a potty (as the squatting position was more comfy) and eventually the loo. Once he transitioned I never had to deal with anything again - he wanted the door shut and to wipe himself.

Oh I do remember him being anxious about falling down the loo so the we also had one of those portable padded loo seats. He even took it to nursery.

I really feel your pain - all 3 of my DS's did this - although DS3 was definitely the worst. I did the Poo goes to Pooland, Pirate Pete (which was good for getting him ONTO the toilet and also the "I can't, I won't" book and another one about a boy called Liam which I can't remember the name of.

I have a copy still of the "I can't, I won't" one - if you would like me to post it to you, please PM me and I'll be happy to pass it on to another needy parent!!

You could be writing about my daughter. We are currently just very relieved she’s not withholding anymore. She’s actually been pooing on the toilet at nursery recently (but not at home) so I think we are getting there. We have totally backed off and stopped mentioning the pooing at all which I think has helped. As has the movicol. I have tried the getting her to poo in the bathroom with nappy on but she refuses so just back to doing nothing for now and hoping she comes round eventually.

NB the toilets at nursery are the ones for little children so she’s probably in a better position on them and also they don’t put nappies on her as she doesn’t nap there anymore.

An you get her to sit in the loo for a wee, then get her to blow some balloons up, the blowing pressure normally helps the poo !

Well I suggested she go in the bathroom for her next poo and she seemed to like the idea UNTIL it came to it of course and there were tears at the mere mention of it 🙈

I'm swithering between totally ignoring it and upping her Movicol. Everything is a battle of wills with DD1 - and she has a strong one!

Keep at it sleep. I find it helps to talk about any change llts in the run up to it. So maybe pick a day or a point of reference she can understand and then have a few days lead into it “from this weekend when mummy and daddy are both at home you will do your poos in a nappy in the bathroom.” Include some choices of possible so she feels she has some control “Do you want stay in the bathroom by yourself Or have me/ dad with you? Would you like to read x book or y book” On repeat so by the time the weekend comes she’s used used to the idea.