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Have upset my sister

2 replies

alwaysxmas · 25/11/2017 11:08

I have name changed for this as I hope it isn't too outing. My sister has a 19 month old baby who has started to be extremely clingy to her. I know these phases are natural but she asked me for advice and now is annoyed at me for giving her some!

Basically, her life hasn't really changed since having her son. She works full time, has lots of support and so is able to have a lot of freedom. I think this is good as she loves her career and she was very unhappy on mat leave and admits it wasn't for her.

She has always left her baby for periods of time. But more recently she has been going away for the weekends with her friends, on average 2-3times a month. Last week she hadn't seen her son from the Wed morn until the next Monday morn. The baby became hysterical and clingy to her when she tried to leave him again. The weekends she is here, she meets with friends and there never is any family time. Baby is taken along sometimes but activities are never for him.

She was upset at him not sleeping and being hysterical when she tried to leave room at bedtime. Which I know all babies go through. She asked me what to do and in amongst everything else I said, I said gently about maybe not going away to often as this exacerbates it (as said by her). She completed ripped into me, despite knowing I wasn't judging her. I just personally don't go away because I don't really like going away! I admit I don't like leaving my child often, but I do go out with friends etc regularly when he is in bed etc. I don't think it is weird I prefer spending my time with my child and family, weekends are mostly family time but I was out with friends last night! Now she is saying I am too attached.

I am just looking for advice on how to fix this now. Was I in the wrong?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
buckyou · 25/11/2017 12:36

I think it's tricky, I've been guilty of asking for advice and then being pissed off at the person for giving advice, even though they were only trying to help!

She probably knows deep down that she's going away too often and you've just hit a nerve. I'm sure she will get over it. Maybe just give her 'what she wants to hear' advice next time to keep the peace.

alwaysxmas · 25/11/2017 19:42

I think you are right! Will just nod along next time.

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