Why did you decide to have an only child?

[Livvylul]

So I was reading a similar thread on here asking why parents were done at 2 children, and it made me wonder why those with one child decided to just have the one (if it was a choice). I recently had twins after a 5 year age gap with my eldest. I always planned on having 2 but obviously that went out the window with twin siblings!
But since having them I've craved for my time back with just one child and I wonder if I would have been happy just having the one. I'm sure this will all change in the future as I've got 2 little babies again after 5 years and just finding it all a bit of a shock to the system!
I can understand why some might chose to just have one and I can understand why other might want to go on to have more.
What's everyone's views?

I didn't decide. My infertility decided for me. I thought I wouldn't be able to have any children at all, but DD arrived completely out of the blue. After she was born I had hoped for another but it never happened.

I wouldn't have wanted more than two children though. I was 41 when DD was born and wouldn't have had the energy to devote to any more. I'm not very maternal anyway and shudder at the idea of 4 or more children. The thought of the drudgery that goes with having so many children makes me want to lie down in a darkened room.

Our first daughter died late in pregnancy. The pregnancy with our second was very hard mentally and physically towards the end. Whilst I would like to give her a living sibling, I think it's more important she has a mum who hasn't put herself through more trauma than she can probably handle in order to do it. She isn't an only child as far as I'm concerned but will be raised as one.

Not really by choice for me. I had DS when I was 20 in a crap relationship and we'd split up by the time he was one. I always wanted a big family and specifically siblings close in age. So I did vaguely consider getting pregnant again before leaving but felt it was dishonest so I didn't do that.

DS is 9 now and I am remarried, we do want more DC but I now want at least 2 more because of the age gap! DH would be happy with one I think but is on board for two. But we'll see whether we can afford it.

I haven't really liked having one, I think it's such a different experience to having more. The relationship ends up quite intense and you have to spend a lot of time focused on them and entertaining them or resign yourself to a lot of electronics and having friends over etc. I feel more uptight compared to friends with more. We don't have the set up for lots of kids to be around.

There are advantages to having one, it's cheaper, you can be more spontaneous, when things are going well it's lovely because nobody else stresses you out! And you can concentrate more on that child, I just don't feel like this suits my parenting style, it would be a positive if I was quite invested in that kind of thing but I think I'd rather be more hands off and reactive than proactive. DS is really social as well and I often feel sad for him about it.

Honestly I think there's advantages and disadvantages to it all.
I loved all he attention and time I could give my eldest when it was just her.
I felt we were really close and I loved it.
But i can see all the attention becoming a negative thing in the future were you to devote all the time to that one child
I came from a big family and loved having so many siblings, but looking back on it think I would have benefited a lot more had we all have been given more one on one time which we weren't.

I don't intend on having any more 3 is more than enough!

I'm an only child with step-siblings so I probably have the best of both worlds - parental focus when younger then support when older!

We have one child and that is down to DH really - he never wanted more than one. We are older parents but I suspect it's because he is one of four and thought that his friends with smaller families (especially one of his friends at the time who was an only) got more attention and stuff. But also, I think it was down to similar circumstances to the OP in that his parents tried for a third and got twins as a bonus!

I have a 10 week old DD. I won't have another as I am afraid they'll have autism like my brother.

I separated from ex h when ds was 6 months, took 3 years out to recover from horrific relationship, met dp when ds was 4.5 years, by the time I would have considered having another baby, ds would have been 6, so would have been about a 7 year age gap, which I think is too large plus as had got over the baby and toddler stage I really did not want to go through that again. I also (personal to me , don't judge others who do) did not want my ds to have to have a new sibling, I think he has gone through enough with parents separated, parents getting new partners that he really does not need the upheaval of a new baby.

Loads of factors for us. Money is a big one, couldn't afford two in childcare so would have to wait till eldest started school at which point wouldn't want to go back to baby stage. Hated the first trimester and labour. Hated the first year of DS' life (colic, reflux, isolated etc).

Love the relative calm of one child (am an introvert) and the focus I can give to them. Come from an abusive background so I don't consider too much positive focus on a child to be a bad thing!

I do worry that he will miss having a sibling in the future but we will be very proactive with playdates etc once he is in school. I am happy for us to be the sleepover house. DH and I will be very organised with regards care in our old age and ensure to the best of our ability that we aren't a burden to DS.