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New Mum and I'm panicking please help

16 replies

guest477337 · 24/11/2017 00:15

I have a 4 day old baby and he is my first. At first I breast fed but baby became dehydrated and wasn't taking properly, he was hardly eating.

I've decided to now bottle feed which he's taken to well, it's recommended he have 20oz every 24 hours however from7pm till 12pm he's now had 7oz, all requested by him crying and suckling. Is this to much?

It means he'll go way over his allowance and it's really panicking me.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
boredofmyoldname · 24/11/2017 00:20

Congratulations, please don't stress yourself!

He'll only take what he needs, remember that recommendations are based on averages so some will need less and others more :)

ButterfliesAreWeird · 24/11/2017 00:22

The recommended is what you should be aiming for not the maximum. If he's hungry, feed him. Simple. Don't panic.

KnitFastDieWarm · 24/11/2017 00:23

The amounts are guidelines, so If he's hungry, he's hungry Smile easier said than done but relax!
I bottlefed on demand after DS failed to latch, and I basically just fed him as i would have if I'd been breastfeeding him - so when he was hungry or needed comfort, he got fed!
If you're formula feeding I suggest a perfect prep machine - I wouldn't have been without mine, makes it much easier to demand feed.
Congratulations, mine turned two yesterday and I remember that feeling of panic all too well! They are hardy little things, just try to take it easy and trust yourself and your baby xx

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guest477337 · 24/11/2017 00:34

Thanks ladies this has made me feel much better.

I'm already feeling down about struggling to breastfeed as I know how judgemental people can get.

He seems much more settled, still won't settle down at night yet but doesn't scream the house down like the last three nights.

OP posts:
MilesHuntsWig · 24/11/2017 00:37

He will be fine. Feed him when he’s hungry, he’s so little it’s instinctive. Don’t beat yourself up - you’re clearly doing your best which will be great for the little fella.

Congratulations (it gets easier!).

blue2014 · 24/11/2017 00:46

Please don't beat yourself up about breastfeeding - please please don't. I'm over on another thread right now beating myself up for breastfeeding!! Honestly it doesn't matter that's it's formula, it doesn't. As long as Baby is fed that's all that matters. I know loads and loads and loads (including me and DH) of happy healthy loving bright formula fed babies Smile it'll all be ok Thanks

And congratulations x

boredofmyoldname · 24/11/2017 00:50

Those first 18 years few weeks are tough!

I remember just being totally baffled by these new things that I was suddenly responsible for and they weren't doing what the book said they should.. turns out they hadn't read the book so we all just kinda winged it together Wink

blue2014 · 24/11/2017 00:53

Ps. It does get easier - it really does

(I spent the first 2 weeks thinking "oh my god, what the fuck have we done!?" Even though we had tried for 4 years and had IVF to get DS so he was really wanted!

It gets loads better Thanks

boredofmyoldname · 24/11/2017 00:56

Also agree with Blue2014, don't beat yourself up about using formula.

I formula fed my first and breastfed my second. I received very few comments about either because it was clear that they were happy and thriving. That's all that matters in the end!

Milliemoo37 · 24/11/2017 01:28

Breastfeeding for me lasted 5 days, but those were horrible, horrible days. I was exhausted because he wasn't latching properly or getting enough milk. I was physically and mentally shutting down and was on the settee 24/7. (Not a very comfy one either!)

We went to bottle feeding because DS was in danger of being re-admitted to hospital he had lost a lot of weight. I felt so guilty and upset that I couldn't breast feed but I was happy I at least gave it a chance.

Just a warning with the bottle making machine. We used one for DSs first few weeks. We've had no end of difficulty with him screaming for hours for no reason and having difficulty passing stools. We were back and forth to doctors. Changing milk etc. Nothing was helping until we started doing making bottles the good old fashioned way with the kettle and it was an instant result, he's so much more settled now. I took the machine apart and the tubes were full of black mould, I was horrified!

ARS157 · 24/11/2017 11:49

My HV scared the living hell out me telling me what my baby “should” be taking! But if it’s too much he’ll either sick it up or refuse it, so if he isn’t doing either then feed him when he wants it! If you try to put him off you’ll just end up a stressed mummy with a hysterical baby so demand feeding is best all round I’ve found :) my HV also tried to make me leave 3 hrs between feed s when he was only weeks old and he was so upset I just couldn’t leave him crying with hunger! If he is suckling and crying but doesn’t want the bottle (or bum changed etc) try cuddles or a (dreaded!) dummy! I know lots of folk don’t like them but they are life savers if you’re baby is grumpy but doesn’t want a feed! I tried seven weeks without one with my first cause I wanted to be perfect Mum and was too proud then I have in and for the first time there was silence and happy baby so happy mummy :) needless to say we’ve stocked up on dummies already for my 11week old! Ha! good luck! X

ineedwine99 · 24/11/2017 11:56

Congratulations! Please don;t stress, i went through the same thing, my HV said she'll take what she takes and that's obviously enough for her. Made things much easier after that!
We fed about every 3 hours from wake up to bedtime, night feeds we let her dictate.
There are a lot of comments about the perfect pep machine, we have one and it was brilliant and had no mould issues. I think it's a bit hit and miss and one of those things that needs checking regularly.
A friend of mine uses ready made carton formula for night feeds, keep it in the fridge, warm for 30 seconds or so in the microwave and give it a damned good shake to mix any hot spots (i still do this now with cows milk as she won't take it fridge cold)
All the best OP, i miss those tiny newborn days :-)

mindutopia · 24/11/2017 13:12

Offer him as much as he wants whenever he wants it. Me personally, I think that seems like way too much, but if that's what he wants, then I wouldn't hold back. At only 4 days old, mine was having about 1oz, maybe 2 oz. every 3 hours, so that's about probably 8-12 oz in 24 hours. Their stomachs are still really tiny at this point, so there's no reason to stress about amounts as long as he's having wet and dirty nappies and putting on weight. But really just follow his lead and feed as much and as often as he wants. It will settle into more of a pattern eventually.

guest477337 · 25/11/2017 00:03

Thanks everyone. He's feeding so much better now he's on formula.

He's just had 5 ounces in 2 hours, he spits up a lot and am worrying he's eating to much again!!

I thought pregnancy was worrisome, it's nothing compared to the worry you have when they arrive 😩😩🙈

OP posts:
Sittingintheshade · 25/11/2017 00:12

I used to get really worried about my baby not taking enough or taking too much formula. Best thing my health visitor said was “baby can’t read the back of the formula box so he doesn’t know how much he should be taking”. It helped me stress a bit less about volume.
I wasted a lot of time feeling guilty about being a failure at bf and I wish I hadn’t!
You’re going a fab job OP, a fed baby is a happy baby

Hazandduck · 26/11/2017 09:37

Ah OP I’m with you, my little girl is 10 days old today and it’s been a learning curve for sure! And yes you worry your whole pregnancy and think once they’re here you’ll relax but nope, I stick my hand down her best about twenty million times a day to check she’s not too hot or cold, worry the noise she makes isn’t normal, worry she goes too bright red when she cries...She has a tongue tie so really damaged my nipples the first day and I was in absolute agony, but my Midwife said if this was the old days and you couldn’t physically feed you didn’t have the miracle of formula to keep your baby alive, and that’s why so many didn’t make it through infancy! If your baby is fed I don’t think it matters and I hate the pressure to breastfeed - I think we all know how good it is for Baby but if you are physically exhausted, crying, and dreading every feed, I fail to see how compromising your mental health creates a bond with your baby. For me the first few days were awful. I feel much happier now accepting that she will have a combination of my milk and formula.
Offering a hand hold from one overwhelmed newbie to another! Xx

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