Is this a hard phase or is it me?

[Chosenbyyou]

Hi

Please give me some perspective/support/understanding? I'm finding things really hard at the mo.

Feel like I should be ok but I'm just not. Handle quite a lot of pressure normally - corporate job etc.

Have two DCs DD just 3 and DS almost 8 months. The eldest is fine on the whole - goes nursery 2 days per week. Youngest is an easier baby than the older one but the constant-ness of both is driving me down.

Smallest wakes frequently crying out but has a dummy and self settles. Can't even work out what he wants in the night - doesn't want to be held, doesn't want to be left, is awake for almost two hours fussing about and then self settles back to sleep?! Naps ok in the day in the pram.

DH works shifts as doctor so is out lots and often needs to sleep in the day.

We have been renovating our house - builders constantly. I regret this and think we made a mistake with this but we are stuck with it.

I'm ill - not sure what with but just run down. My parents help but not with the baby which is fair enough.

I need to suck it up I suppose but I feel on my knees. Please give me some hope! :)

I can’t give you hope as am still in it but can give you a hand hold!! It’s bloody hard, plus the constant laundry!! Try to plan a few treats every other week or so (when DH is off, have a massage, or cream tea with a friend while he has the baby). Small things will get you through at the moment. I am just trying to enjoy it if I can as know it goes so fast and this is my last baby.

Oh and get the doc to check your bloods, I had undiagnosed anaemia after my first and was on my knees too. This time round I feel so much better.

i would have an anaemia test just in case. Are you planning to return to work soon? That might be just the thing to sort you out.

Thank you - that is really kind of you to reply. :)

I will have a look into anaemia - didn't even think about that type of thing.

Even writing it down I sound really lame and I do recognise people have much worse situations that they deal with.

X

No it is hard, dont feel bad about feeling bad. You have got a lot of stress triggers at the moment, be kind to yourself.

I could have written this almost word for word: I have a nearly 4 year old and 6 month old.. and we are renovating our house! We have actually moved out whilst it’s being done, but that is tough in itself, as we are in a tiny, not very nice temporary place with hardly any belongings and I’m of course at home in the flat as I’m on mat leave. It feels hard at the moment, I’m incredibly down and it’s just constant with two kids. I dread the nursery run and the 3 hours until Daddy gets home! Big hugs!

Aww thanks DirtyDancing - sorry you are in the same boat!

I knew I would find two kids hard based on my experience with one but I just hoped this one would sleep better. He doesn't. We won't have any more which is a shame as we always wanted three.

I am going back to work shortly which is a double edged sword. Puts more pressure on us both as we share childcare (with three days nursery) but I get some time off haha!

Fair play to you for moving out for your renovations. Once it is done it will be worth it but it does come at a personal cost which I didn't appreciate.

I do hope you are ok xx