OMG how do you get a toddler and baby to play together?

[MonkeyJumping]

DS1 is nearly 3.

DS2 is a baby who is crawling, pulling up, cruising and absolutely desperate to grab, smash, or chew on anything that DS1 is showing an interest in, which DS1 is (understandably!) getting pretty annoyed about.

Any suggestions? Is there any way to get them to play together without the constant screaming?

In our house it was chaos from when DS2 could move until he was 2yo. Couldn't leave them unsupervised for about 18 months. THE most exhausting time ever.

My two would play together at that age but it took a lot of supervision in the early days. So if the baby “messes something up” intervene quickly and say something like “oh thank you baby for trying to help, let’s put that back there” etc

Dd1 was usually very patient and enjoyed playing with the baby, but I suppose some wouldn’t . So it will depend on the child.

We had a little plastic slide in the hall and they’d play for hours on that on a rainy day. There’s not much can go wrong with that.

Thank you for the words of wisdom everybody. I had a mental image that by now they would play together nicely while I drank tea and mumsnetted, and instead I am spending all my time as a referee. Will try some of the tips on here and adjust my expectations a bit.

Mine are 10mo and 2.5. I've just about trained my DD to give DS something that she is playing with so that he leaves her alone. Eg. If she's playing with cars, she gives him 2. If she's got happyland out, she gives him a figure to hold.

It sometimes buys me a minute or two but just when I think it's going quite well, she'll push him over! Hoping it'll get better in the next 6 months.

I did that teaandbiscuits! Trained DD1 to give DD2 something to play with so she wouldn't grab DD1's toy. Unfortunately then DD2 got old enough to realise she was being fobbed off...

I've got a 3 year old and a 14 month old, and they will play together sometimes. Mostly very active play like running up and down the house with trolleys or scooters, or chasing each other in the garden. Or baby going ah-ah-ah-ah and 3 year old deciding that this means they are both dinosaurs. Crawling tunnels are good too.

Don't expect any kind of imaginative quiet play at this age though. 1 year old will just knock everything flat or eat it and 3 year old will end up in tears!

Oh no minipie! I didn't think about the next phase!! 🙈

Mine are 4.5 and 1.5. We had a rough few months when DS2 started crawling, but from about 15 months it's been fine- the turning point was DS2 learning to push trains along the track rather than pulling up the track/knocking over the bridges . DS1 often announces 'DS2 and I are going up to my room to play lego/trains'- and off they trot. There is sometimes conflict but generally its ok. They also love doing anything that involves chasing each other, so crawling tunnels are a hit here too.

You don’t.

Haha think you are being a bit optimistic op . . You need the younger one to be old enough to actually play a chasing game.. My 2 did that as their first real playing together. Id say 18 months onwards the little one might be able o actually play....but really at 4 and 2 onwards its easier.

Yes I suppose actually playing together is unrealistic, but it must be possible for them to play in the same playroom without constant screaming and snatching I just haven't found it yet!

Ask older one to find some toys for little one so little one feels included - eg if older is building Lego, find a few large blocks or plates for baby to bash together, or a couple cars for baby, rest for older kid. And lots of praise when older manages that and reminders that poor little one can't do X or Y yet, and acknowledging that the baby is very annoying because it doesn't understand.

It'll come in time but don't force it.

Playpen for the younger one.

Thank you @NotCitrus that's sort of what we're doing, it's just not working yet!