Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

Help I need advice-do I force my 31/2 year old to do his swimming lessons????

18 replies

MilaMae · 17/04/2007 20:58

He and his twin brother had their 1st lesson yesterday. It's obviously been praying on his mind as he's been saying all day he doesn't want to go again. He's just called me up and was quietly crying in bed about it. The thing is he came out of the lesson beeming and seemed to love it (I watched through the window). They both did brilliantly.

It was only 5 in a class for 1/2 an hour. She was very good but was the lets get on with it type, not all lovey dovey. They love water and we live near to and are always playing by beaches, streams, lakes etc so learning to swim asap from a safety aspect is important to us especially as we've got a 2 year old too.

He doesn't like new things and didn't like pre-school either when he started but enjoys it now. I feel we should persevere but I hate the quiet crying thing and am now wondering if I'm being cruel as I suppose we could wait until he learns at school. Am I ????? Please advise.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

princesscc · 17/04/2007 21:02

Might it have been first lesson nerves? Now he's done it, he knows the drill and will probably be OK. I'd give it one more go, if he still isn't happy, I think you should stop imo.

Wotzsaname · 17/04/2007 21:04

agree, say try once more, if he decides its a big fat no, then don't make him go. They enjoy it much more with thier parents making fools of themselves in the pool too!

WigWamBam · 17/04/2007 21:05

If he's so upset about it that he's crying to himself in bed, it's not worth pushing IMO. Swimming's something fun that should be enjoyed, not forced on a child who really doesn't sound happy about it.

There's plenty of time for lessons when he's older, but at 3 years old I'd say take him yourself and let him have some fun instead. Otherwise it will become a punishment, not a joy.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

DaisyMOO · 17/04/2007 21:06

Personally I would really back off about it if he's really upset. Presumably he's always going to be closely supervised around water even if he can swim, so what's the hurry? I might make a deal that if he goes just once more and doesn't like it he doesn't have to go back, but I might not make him at all if was really bothered. He might end up really hating swimming if you force him which would really defeat the object surely.

I once 'made' my 4 year old go on a football course that he didn't want to do on the basis that he would enjoy it in the end. He didn't and a year later he still doesn't like playing football with other people and talks about how I 'made' him go

princesscc · 17/04/2007 21:15

We didn't do swimming lessons for my dd, we just took her ourselves whenever we could. She soon picked it up and she is an excellent swimmer now and no different to those who had lessons. You don't want him to start being scared of the water. That is an even bigger safety issue, than not being able to swim I think.

KnayedFrot · 17/04/2007 21:16

I was made to go to a swimming class I hated and it put me off for life really . I can swim as I did subsequently learn but I still hate putting my face in the water.

It was quite hard stuff though, big classes, shouty teachers, & we had to dive down to teh botom quite early on and they made you do it iykwim (I was older, about 6).

Swimming can be quite scary for children, I think - I would ask him to try one more lesson and if he still doens;t like it, leave it for a year or two.

hana · 17/04/2007 21:18

I wouldn't force at that age
it's a bit on the young side to be doing proper lessons

Original poster

MilaMae · 17/04/2007 21:33

Many thanks for the advice. The problem is we can't take them swimming. We have 3 of 3 1/2 and under and just the 2 of us. We got thrown out the 1 and only time we went swimming as a family as you're apparantly only allowed 1 child under 5 per adult. I'm just scared they're growing up without respect for water. Nearly lost my daughter last summer in a lake most scarey moment of my life. They are strictly supervised near water but you just never know do you. I can't help feeling it's for their own good and it's not as if I'm forcing them to do piano lessons.

OP posts:

Pitchounette · 17/04/2007 22:08

Message withdrawn

MorocconOil · 17/04/2007 22:18

My DS1 hated lessons at that age, so he stopped and started again 2 years later without any problem. We took him to play in the water on a weekly basis when he stopped at 3. I can see where your concerns are coming from. Couldn't you or your DP go swimming with him on his own every so often? I know it's difficult to arrange though.

peanutbutterkid · 17/04/2007 22:23

Try a different swimming pool. Ours lets parents take 3 children in under 5, some have a policy of allowing 2 under 5. Or you could take him one-to-one (other parent gets to look after 2 at home).

Dont' think it's best to force him. Too young. Didn't make mine take swim lessons until age 5.

funnypeculiar · 17/04/2007 22:28

agree with peanutbutterkid - diff pools have different rules!
Fwiw, ds has been doing swimming 'classes' since 4 mths, and went in on his own (ie just teacher, not me) for the first time two weeks ago. First week he SCREAMED for the whole of the class - it was horrible, I nearly quit. Second class he was really up for it, grinned the whole way through, did loads of things that he's never done before with enthusiasm - see how he feels about going again, but he might surprise you

funnypeculiar · 17/04/2007 22:28

ds is 3, btw

Original poster

MilaMae · 17/04/2007 22:43

Apparantly there is a new law coming into effect so all pools will be the same, private pools will have to come into line too. The manager who kicked us out said they're loosing a lot of money but his hands are tied. I'm hoping he was speaking the truth and it wasn't just because he didn't like the look of us. I asked DT if there was anything we could do to help and he said a biscuit out of the big machine(vending machine) straight after, then went to sleep when I said ok-little minx!!!! Hoping it may just be new thing nerves like funny's son. Will see how lesson 2 goes and hope for the best.

OP posts:

throckenholt · 18/04/2007 07:33

I have/had the same dilemma - I have 4 year old twins and a 5 year old. Our local pool lets us take 2 under 5s per adult - but to be honest it is only since they were about 3.5 that I felt confident in taking two on my own (DH hates swimming so won't come with me).

I started DS1 with lessons at 5.5 - he was mostly fine. I started the twins at just 4 and it has been less good - for a start they just won't cooperate and refuse to do anything she asks ! After a term one twin has now decided he doesn't want to go any more - the other is still keen - so that is what we are doing as of next week.

Oddly they both love it when I take them - it is just the lesson they don't like. Maybe having been in a school situation is the key as to why it suited ds1 - or maybe it is a personality thing - not sure.

Anyway - I would suggest sticking with lessons for one and leave the other for a while - and take them on your own when you can. It may be that once the non-swimmer realises he is missing out he will ask for lessons again (I am sort of hoping that will happen with mine).

Fillyjonk · 18/04/2007 07:38

oh god so feel for you re the rules! I so wish they would organise some sort of extra-lifeguard session for those of us (and there's quite a lot) with more than 1 under 5. And yes you can go at weekends but...really I'd rather take my kids more often than when dp can come with us.

cos otherwise, in practice, lots of us can't take kids swimming.

I am forking out for a pricey gym membership to overocme this problem, as its very important to us as a family (dp is very very into his swimming). But aaaargh at whole sitution really.

I see their point re safety I think but there must be a better solution.

MorocconOil · 18/04/2007 08:43

You don't hear of many children drowning in public swimming pools though do you? Compare that to the numbers who drown because they have never learnt to swim.

I think the ratios they are insisting on are OTT and counterproductive to all the policies the government are trying to implement around tackling childhood obesity, improving the nation's health etc.

IMO the local leisure centres should be there to encourage fun family activities not make them impossible for those with more than one small child.

lovemybed · 18/04/2007 16:16

mimizan very good point, parents should be able to choose if they can look after more than 1 child in the pool.

milamae i dont suppose there is any chance you could take another adult like a grandparent along to even out the ratio, or are you friends with a couple who only have 1 child who might be interested in going along with you in a group.

Flip