Hi, I'm concerned and a bit confused as to what the best thing is for my son RE going to see his dad (we're not together and have a really bad history). C is 2 and a half, and for most of his life he's seen his dad and that side of the family relatively regularly.
C first showed signs of not wanting to go when he was around 1 but I took that to be separation anxiety. We lived in France for about 8 months from September last year to May this year so C didn't see him that often during that time. Since we've been back, C has seen his dad pretty much every week (happily) and for the past couple of months has been going to his house and occasionally staying the night. Recently, C keeps saying that he doesn't want to go to his dad's house and that he doesn't like him etc.
Today when his dad came to pick him up, C immediately started crying and clinging onto me. I asked him what was wrong but he didn't really say anything (but earlier I'd told him he was going there and he'd said he didn't want to etc). It was pretty horrible having to hand him over when he was clearly upset and I heard him crying all the way down the path. His dad texted me to say he was fine a couple of minutes later but he has a history of lying so I never know what's true and what's not.
His dad hasn't always been there for him - cancelling days when he was supposed to see him, he's not paid maintenance since September etc and there's been a few occasions where I've seriously questioned his parenting abilities (e.g. he has a dog which C used to be really scared of, although apparently isn't anymore. One day C came back with a cut on his head that he attributed to the dog. I asked his dad who denied it and to this day I still don't know what the truth is. C is partial to making stuff up so it's basically impossible to know).
On the whole, C comes back happy and in one piece so I can't tell if his reluctance to go is genuine or not...my parents and friends all hate his dad so it's hard for them to discuss it objectively; my dad actually thinks C shouldn't have anything to do with his dad because of what's happened previously (a LOT of lies, some really awful, and he actually stole from me as well).
I'm wary about the idea of not letting C see his dad completely, as I'm not sure that's the best thing for him or if it's even reasonable. We live in London and his dad lives in Eastbourne so he doesn't see him more than 2-3 times a month anyway. At the moment we're staying at my parents' house, and the reluctance to go to his dad's seems worse when we're here (maybe he's picked up on the fact my parents don't like his dad, I don't know).
If anyone has any thoughts/experience then I would be super grateful to hear it. None of my friends have kids yet so I don't really have anyone to talk to about it other than my parents who aren't very helpful...