Whats the point of nursery if you have childcare?

[newmums2016]

So my niece has just turned 2 and will be starting nursery in the New Year. Currently my sisters MIL watches niece while S is at work which is not an issue for S's MIL. During a recent conversation about the nursery placement, S's MIL said "oh xx's son is 3 and hasn't even started nursery yet how disgusting!', she then asked me when I would apply for nursery for my DD (16 months). I work part time and my MIL has my DD the days that I work and so I've never thought about sending her to nursery. So I guess my question is why would you send your DC to nursery if you have childcare? (genuine question not judging)

Sorry just to add - my DS attended nursery from 4 months but if you have childcare in place you are happy with I don’t think you need to think about nursery until about 3 years old or even 3 and a half. Even then it doesn’t need to be full time, but that said there was a discernible difference between children starting reception who had no experience of nursery and those who had within my social circle at that time.

@BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried as much as I might/might not agree with your point, it doesn’t make any difference whilst the UK school age is what it is. As parents we have to make choices that best suit our children within the limitations of legislation.

Such a rush to put children into education. The long list of skills they're expected to have, or it's assumed they will develop simply because they're attending nursery, is enough to make the head spin. They're not even 4 yet...! So much pressure on mums to send kids to nursery.

Difference is frowned upon and let's face it the school system isn't that good here anyway. It's fine if kids go to nursery, equally fine if they don't. Same as with homeschooling if it suits then fine, one child isn't necessarily "better" than another because they're in mainstream education.

Competitive schooling has a lot to answer for

It depend whether you mean nursery or preschool? Nursery to me are the places open 8-6 mostly providing childcare for working parents. Preschool is usually shorter morning and afternoon sessions, and tends to be a lot cheaper! When I had dd1 and 2 they went to nursery as I worked and needed childcare. DH was a sahp when DD3 was small and when she was 3 she went to a few sessions per week at the preschool attached to our primary just to try and give her a bit of independence and make friends.

I'm a stay at home mum and my ds started at a pre school nursery in January when he was 3. Just his free 15 hours a week. He has come on so much in that time, he is more sociable and makes friends easier and far more independant. They teach him basic maths, phonics and literacy skills as well as getting him used to sitting and listening to the teahcers and all of the rest of the skills needed to participate in recpetion class. Its been so beneficial for him, but not something he needed before he went at 3 years 3 months.

I like the idea of nursery being more focused on child-led exploration and developing social skills and personal care skills. I suppose it depends on your MIL and I would never think it was "disgusting" for someone to not send their child to nursery. But frankly you couldn't pay me to leave my kids with either my mum or MIL on a routine basis while I worked. It would be so unstimulating (I'm pretty sure there would be a lot of screen time and they would be fed a lot of rubbish and never leave the house). Occasional babysitting is absolutely fine, but on a regular weekly basis, no way.

At nursery, my daughter got to do so many more things she never would have done at home with one of them: cooking and baking, forest school, there's a mud kitchen for mud play, they learned about fire safety and the fire engine comes once a year, Christmas plays, just all sorts of really creative, organised yet child-led activities that my mum/MIL certainly never would have done. Plus I liked the EYFS assessments and such that they do as we could see how she was developing and that made for a smoother transition to school as the nursery and school just liaise with each other about all of that.

But really, the most important bit was the social skills and personal care side of nursery. We live really rurally and there are no toddler groups really or anything like that around here (you know, even if I didn't have to work). So my dd would have had almost no interaction with other children. At nursery though, they put a lot of emphasis on sharing and developing friendships and conflict resolution, etc. They cook together, share communal meals, do chores together, etc. It was a really beneficial social experience. Plus, they encouraged her to be really good about handwashing and taking care of her things and using the toilet independently, etc. I think because she was so used to already doing all those things for herself (we try to encourage it, but realistically, she can't easily reach other places so we have to help her a lot), it was much easier for her to do it when she started school. Also, she made several friends who have now gone to the same school so it made it a bit easier too.

I don't think it's 'bad' not to go to nursery. Realistically, it's expensive. We paid as much for nursery as our rent each month. It may not be an option for everyone financially. In our case, we have no family help, so it was our only option. But even if I'd had the choice, I'd still have opted for nursery as I think it was such a positive experience, much more so than anything she could have gotten at home with family (I stayed home with grandparents when I was little, I don't think it was the best choice for me either, so that is definitely a factor too).