My kids are grinding me down!

[poooooooop]

They are 4 & 8 and they wind each other up so much, every day it’s really starting to get to me.

I hide in my room to avoid the bickering!

It’s usually the 8yr old winding the 4yr old up, but the 4yr old reacts to easily.

I keep trying to teach her to let it go, just ignore, come tell me etc etc.

I keep telling 8yr old that it’s not acceptable, I send him to his room when it gets too much, try to explain to him how he would like it and whether he is picked on by anyone at school! I even called him a bully

They’re not physical, just ds getting in dd’s face, pretending to pass her stuff and then running off, chasing her and jumping out on her around the house, not acknowledging her when she speaks to him or answering in stupid noises to piss her off on purpose.

Her reaction is to just screen and squeal which is such a horrible noise it really grates on me and I end up snapping at them to stop!

I love them but I really don’t want to live with them atm. (I’ll happily visit!)

Help me!
I know it’s mostly normal sibling behaviour, and they do have moments of playing nicely. Such as now, they’re rolling a ball to each other but soon enough it’ll end up with ds rolling to hard or not rolling quite enough or whatever and dd getting upset.

How can I cope?

That was my whole childhood with my older brother!

Ours are 7 and 4 and we have the same issue. We count the older one and then he gets a time out on his room. Not a massive punishment but it shows the younger on that it is being dealt with so she doesn't overreact so much and often a few minutes out of the situation calms the older one down and reduces his interest in winding her up.

He will also often get distracted by Lego or something and not come down for ages which is bliss!

My brothers are in their 40s and this sort of behaviour still goes on in a slightly different guise

I have three doing this at the moment and I dread pickup from school and I’ve usually bawled at them before school.

I’ve tried so many things and the eldest is just a catalyst constantly, the middle is a canny little so and so when he thinks no one is looking and the youngest is learning from the masters.

I’ve lost my voice at the moment so can’t command instructions (which would then be ignored) and dh is working away and everyone is bathed and in pjs already as I’ve had enough of them. It’s killing me as they used to be such great kids and so well behaved with the odd moment, it’s the total opposite at the moment so I’m def watching this to see if anyone has any good ideas!

No answers, but glad to know it’s not just me.
Love them dearly, but sometimes I just need to get away from them, and count the minutes until bedtime.

That’s my thinking aus when I send ds to his room. He’s not banished there, but usually it sorts him out. Even if he does go initially in a grump.

1981 I’m sure my kids dislike me living with them just as much as I do as many a times we have started the day with me yelling at them to stop!
I also have a dh who works away. He’s back tonight after 3 weeks away thank fuck!

I forgot to say that I do try to praise as much as possible when they are playing nicely together, but sometimes I ignore as Tom’s peaceful!