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Parenting

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Original poster

dd is 19mths i'm being encouraged to potty train her, any tips?

25 replies

LoveMyGirls · 16/04/2007 12:37

Dd2 is very bright, dp's family think she should start to be potty trained (mil says her dd2 was trained by 12mths)

I think she probably could wee in a potty if taken but i'm not so sure about her coming to me to ask for the potty so i'm sure if i do this i will be spending alot of time cleaning up wee and pooh - not my favourite job - as for those encouraging me its not them who will be cleaning up..........

Please can i hear your success stories of training early? Any tips?

OP posts:

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doggiesayswoof · 16/04/2007 12:39

Sorry, not what you have asked for, but my tip would be wait a few months... you've answered it yourself - you know your dd is not really ready

Babbit · 16/04/2007 12:41

Not sure there is a correlation between intelligence and bowel / bladder control. She will start to tell you when she's ready, and will not like wearing a nappy.

ZZMum · 16/04/2007 12:42

I would wait and would ignore all MIL comments who state that their kids were trained at a young age it is impossible physiologically they were trained into a routine and that is not the same...

the only time to potty train is the minute the child wants to do it.. no point at all if they are not ready ... as you say, cleaning poo is awful so limit the time you have to do it to the time when DD is ready to go...

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Original poster

LoveMyGirls · 16/04/2007 12:42

I feel i'm being bullied into it to be perfectly honest - they just think i'm lazy and don't want to do it. Dd1 had some toileting problems from 1-3 so was late being potty trained - it was a rush to get her properly trained before school (just as she turned 4)

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clarinsgirl · 16/04/2007 12:42

I think 19 mo is pretty young. I'm not sure its related to intelligence either. You will know when she is ready and if I were you I would rely on your own judgement and the behaviour of your daughter. Well meaning in-laws are not always right!

Original poster

LoveMyGirls · 16/04/2007 12:44

I think i'm expected to get her to wee on the potty and get her used to it, i dont think any of them expect me to have her properly trained and in pants all the time, i just dont really see the point of doing all that until she's ready to go the whole hog and get rid of nappies.

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Original poster

LoveMyGirls · 16/04/2007 12:45

dp is on their side so i'm completely on my own, yes it would be nice to get rid of nappies and would save us some money but I cant see how this is going to work.

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Twiglett · 16/04/2007 12:46

DPs family should butt out and you should wait till she's able to take her own clothes on and off before bothering

I'd try around 2 and a half (or earlier if she shows the signs) personally

Original poster

LoveMyGirls · 16/04/2007 12:47

i don't get how i can encourage her to hold it, thats when i think a child is ready, when they can come to you ask for the potty/ toilet and wait until you get to one before they do it.

I feel as this is dd2 i should find this a breeze but i'm really unsure about the whole thing.

OP posts:

beansprout · 16/04/2007 12:50

The most important thing is that you and dd2 do this when you are both ready. It would be so counterproductive to start it early, be stressed because she was having accidents only to then have to do it all again a few months down the line.

I would say, trust your instincts. Sorry your in-laws are so nosy but that's not the reason to start something before you are ready.

Clary · 16/04/2007 12:50

Bit early I would say, unless she seems keen.

DP's family not going to be there to clean up, as you say.

Original poster

LoveMyGirls · 16/04/2007 12:51

Ok so how do I tell them i'm not doing it? dp is expecting me to go out today and buy a potty.

OP posts:

LIZS · 16/04/2007 12:51

Don't let yourself feel pressured as the resulting anxiety, and that from training dd1, will only be passed on to dd2 if she doesn't readily comply. You could start low key by inviting her to use it before bath/bed or first thing then see if she shows any inclination towards initiating it further. If it seems too much, leave it. You could always leave it altogether until the summer holidays when you can be outside more and worry less about accidents, plus she'll be a little older and physically more self aware (which imho is distinct from intelligence).

clarinsgirl · 16/04/2007 12:51

In your position I think I'd tell them all, politely but firmly that she is not ready for the potty yet. I'd also remind them that early potty training is not a measure of success or intelligence, just a child who gains bowel and bladder control early.

Original poster

LoveMyGirls · 16/04/2007 12:57

Was tempted to send dd2 to stay with pil's for a week and have her back once trained if its so easy........

Seriously i think i'll buy the potty encourage her before her bath and first thing as suggested and if im in the house when i change her nappy i might get it out, theres no harm in getting her used to it and letting her know what its for.

I guess it's not like i'm going to let her not have a nappy on, following her round cleaning up wee all day.....

OP posts:

Shoshable · 16/04/2007 13:30

I never even attempt to train my mindees, till they are really ready, you will know when.

Most girls are around the 2.6 mark boys nearer 3. Leave her till you are sure.

belgo · 16/04/2007 13:43

my dd2 potty trained herself at 18 months (one month ago). She indicated she wanted to sit on the potty, and I let her, and much to my surprise she weeed. Since then, she is dry during the day at home. she sees her sister use the potty, so knows what it's for.

I have to make sure she can see the potty and regularly put her on it. The only time she's had accidents is when she's been to creche and they've put a nappy on her. I take it off, and she gets confused and has an accident.

My comment is: you don't know whether they are ready for potty training or not unless you give them the opportunity to use the potty.

Original poster

LoveMyGirls · 17/04/2007 13:31

Well........ahem..........

I brought the potty, this morning i tried her on it (just to show her what its for) and she loved it and did a trickle of a wee. I think easing into it slowly might be a good idea, i don't mind as long as i'm not expected to chase round after her all day cleaning it up.

OP posts:

belgo · 17/04/2007 13:32

well done your dd!

belgo · 17/04/2007 13:34

'i don't mind as long as i'm not expected to chase round after her all day cleaning it up.'

chances are you'll be doing that whenever you decide to potty train. Few children are potty trained without having accidents. Having accidents is a normal part of potty training, just as falling over is normal when children first learn to walk.

Original poster

LoveMyGirls · 17/04/2007 13:36

Belgo thanks, im well aware there will be accidents when i properly train her (when shes ready but she isnt ready yet and to put her in pants all the time would just mean months of chasing round cleaning up wee and dirty clothes) thats all i meant

OP posts:

belgo · 17/04/2007 13:41

If she's weeed in the potty, then why do you say she's not ready yet?

mears · 17/04/2007 13:43

I think it is too young personally.

belgo · 17/04/2007 13:45

It probably is too young for a lot of children, but some children are ready at this age.

Original poster

LoveMyGirls · 17/04/2007 13:46

She will do it if you take her to it etc but she isnt ready to wear pants all the time, she hasnt learnt that she needs to hold it i think a few months of doing it morning and night and perhaps when im in the house changing her nappy or out in the garden in summer etc but at the moment she isnt ready for full on training.

OP posts:

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