4 weeks baby only sleeping in my arms

[ahsat84]

My 4 week old used to sleep in his Moses basket on and off , in the past week he screams 5 minutes after being put down in the day and night. It's exhausting at night as I'm staying awake while he sleeps in my arms and we are taking it in shifts but husband is back to work now.

I've read other posts and tried swaddling which he hates, tried warming the Moses basket and also tried sleepyhead but nothing makes a difference

Any advice or any ideas when and how it will get better ?

I used to get her to sleep on a pillow on my lap, then ever-so-gently move the pillow to the rug when she was asleep. Only really works for cat naps though.

And when she was about 4.5 months, I got her into a regular sleeping pattern by taking her for a drive, to kick her body clock into a pattern. Then did pick up, put down which worked but kills your back. Your DD is still a little too young for this though.

My DD1 was like this. WE used to do 'The Stages' or that's what we called it. Stage 1-A gentle song and rock Stage 2- Slower rock and sound Stage 3- Stop the rock and pat 4 - Hold baby away from body and keep singing 5-Lower into cot and sing 6- Place on mattress but keep hand on body and keep singing softer now 7-Remove hand but keep singing next to cot 8- Gradually back out of room 9- Try to avoid the creaky stair 10- Pour wine. She's 17 now and the wine is needed for other stuff! Put the work in now if you want some independence. It will pass.

I just wanted say if your baby is not comfortable on their back at all, it could be acid reflux. If you hold him in your arms is he comfortable sleeping on his back or does he end up sleeping upright on you?

My daughter had silent reflux, she was not sick at all but screamed every time we lay her on her back. I could not use a pram she went upright in a pushchair about 10 weeks, only slept on us for ages, we had to prop up one end of her cot, to get her to sleep in a cot.

Your son is really young and this may not be the case at all but if it continues and he is uncomfortable when ever on his back, you may want to look into it.

We had a bit of a fight to get it diagnosed as lots of doctors only recognise the sickly type of reflux not the silent one. As a previous poster mentioned ours also went hand in hand with Cows milk protein intolerance and she only got better after going dairy free and having reflux medication.

Hope things get better for you soon

OMG remember it well.
Only happened with the first one.
He's 21 and he's stopped it now!

I really feel for you. Had the same thing with my dd and it is an absolute killer. I've just looked up the sleep diary I kept for the doctor and by 7 weeks she was sleeping for up to 2 hours in her Moses basket. I'll probably get laughed out of town for this but the only thing that made a significant difference was seeing a cranial osteopath. She was on gaviscon and something else because the GP thought it might be reflex or silent reflux but they made no difference. After 3 visits to the osteopath I stopped all of the medication and she started to sleep for longer.

I know lots of people who have taken their babies to an osteopath and seen no change but I am convinced this is what improved things for us so it might be worth considering trying. To be honest I was so exhausted I was willing to give anything a go. I hope things get better for you.

OP I'm in nearly the same position with my 5 week old. At night I'm feeding on my side the sliding her into a next to me crib (borrowed from a friend) or cosleeping if I fall asleep (not my favourite option as I get cold from making sure the duvet doesn't cover her). I also have a 3 year old so semi decent sleep is a necessity. I can't wait until dd2 is old enough to teach to self settle. During the day I've just got a moby wrap for when she won't stay asleep in the moses basket which I wish I had for dd1. Try out different methods until you find one which works for you

Another one agreeing it's totally normal!

With DD1 it lasted a couple of weeks - she was self settling by 6 weeks. With DD2 I trained her out of it at 8 months .

My regret now with DD2 is that I didn't just go with it for those 8 months. I would have been so much less stressed and actually, it didn't really matter!

OP I'm sorry you're struggling with this - it's not you, it's them

I bought a wrap as DC would not sleep anywhere but on me/DH for the first 12 weeks. It helped. I also sat on the couch, a lot, with a packet of biscuits. I became quite fond of daytime TV but it was lonely.

I also went to bed at 6pm when DH got home, then he made dinner whilst I was doing the next feed at 9pm, ate his, and I went straight back to bed. At midnight I ate my dinner and he went to bed. I'd try to put the baby down and if I was lucky I'd get an hour or two before DH took over again at dawn before he had to go to work. It was pure survival tactics but made the time even more lonely.

We were both exhausted after 12 weeks and were still waking every hour or two all night, so then set a sensible nap routine rather. I think DC was more tired by bedtime once we put the nap-time routine in place and made the days busier, so was happier to "go to bed" at the end of the day which helped with settling.

It's hell when you're living through it though.

My DD was like this, in the beginning my DH and I were taking 5-6 hour shifts. I then ordered a Cocoonababy it was amazing. It made us feel better about co-sleeping and DD would actually be put down and sleep in it. I would often sleep with my arm slung over it so DD could feel my skin, which helped.

All I can do is and [tea] and say oh my god it is soooo hard. Good luck - it WILL get better.

Have you tried putting the sleepyhead on the bed next to you that way you can leave your arm across the baby?

OP I promise it gets better. We were exactly the same. Our DD is 13 weeks now and things are progressing a lot.
For the first month she would only sleep on my chest or in my arms. Then we went to co-sleeping and it was the best decision we made and I slept in a C shape around her. As long as she was touching me she would sleep fine. Now we're at the point where she'll sleep in the next to me cot, as long as she feeds in bed with us and then I transfer her when she's asleep.

It gets better! Be patient. This baby has spent 9 months inside you, don't expect them to be happy to be separated soon after and appreciate how much they love you

My second DD only slept in my arms for the first 6 weeks, i thought this was how she was going to be for the whole year ! However they grow out of it quickly and i really miss it now !!!

Try putting him down on a top or nightie you have slept in. The smell of you may well be what he needs. I've used this for years when childminding young babies. Everything about me and my house was unfamiliar and that lovely mummy smell was always comforting.

You could also try sleeping with his undersheet in your bed with you for a couple of nights to make that smell of you.

DD was like this during the daytime. She would sleep in her cot at night (DH in charge!) but would ONLY nap during the day if held - FOR THE WHOLE NAP.

I loved her to pieces, but at 5 months was broken. I hired a sleep nurse (daytimes) for a week. It cost the amount of a decent holiday, but was the best money I have spent in my entire life. She was lovely, knew every trick in the toolbox, and was more stubborn than DD. After a week DD was napping in her cot, and the lovely sleep nurse taught me what she had used.

In DD's case this was a dummy as she was fed to sleep (removed once asleep) and a hand on her tummy whilst she was lying down. No noise. Just staying like that until she fell asleep (40 minutes at start, 15 minutes after a few weeks). A key trick was not to pick her up and let her doze off, as a few seconds of that gave her the energy to keep going for another 10 minutes.

Good luck, it was very hard.

Katy xx