Autumnal blues for new mums

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I've been struggling to get myself motivated and go out with my 3mo since it's become colder and darker. It hasn't helped that:

1. I'm naturally a loner anyway. I made an effort at the start to get involved with my NCT group (though I haven't gelled with them as much as they have gelled with each other), go to baby classes, see friends for lunch, but now I'm so tired after not having a full night's sleep for 3 months and it's such a faff getting him out the door, needing to schedule 2h before the start in order to do it without rushing, and I'm not feeling motivated anymore.

2. Baby is strugging with teething and reflux, so we can't get him and ourselves to bed until midnight or after. He will sometimes sleep until midday, so we end up missing whatever baby activity we have scheduled. I worry that he needs the sleep so I should leave him to it, but I wonder if I'm being too precious, and should stick him in the sling and get on with whatever we have planned.

3. I've had some issues with breastfeeding but he feeds a little better in the morning, so if I can get him on the breast then I'll keep him there, but again we end up missing out on much of the daylight.

I've missed two weeks of lunches, baby activities, gym sessions. I keep meaning to go, not going for one reason or another, and then feeling regret about it. I quite like spending the days nesting with him, but I know it's not very healthy to isolate myself, and if I don't get myself out of this funk then it will become harder to dig myself out as the days get shorter and colder. Plus I feel guilty about not getting him out and missing opportunities because I really love baby classes/yoga/swimming and it's such a waste of money to not go.

Can someone please give me a kick? Or some kind words? :-) My husband is lovely, and is normally great about encouraging me, but lately he has been worrying about baby getting enough rest so he's happy for me to stay at home as well.

Hello... gentle kick here, if that’s helpful. Three months is a hard age, for all the reasons you know. And, despite you not being the newest baby on the block it’s still really hard to know what you’re doing.

I would, if possible, think of your time weekly, allow the baby some time to doing the long rests and you have some days in and about at home but also some days when you will be up and out and go somewhere, even if that means disturbing the baby.

Are you going back to work? My three month dip coincided with the half way point of maternity leave, which didn’t help much.

Hi there don’t be too tough on yourself I have days where I’m better have more energy to go out and days where I just want to stay in curl up on sofa with DS and rest up he’s currently coming up to 7 months and at moment teething so it’s draining I haven’t had much energy to do things myself and as you said with the weather isn’t the best now its colder and days when it’s raining we tend to stay put.

I try and make an effort to go to baby group once a week as it gets us both out and it means I get to socialise with the other mums after over a cup of coffee I also try to catch up with my friends or when it’s dry out go for a walk

It will take time just enjoy it rest up when you can and try not to fret about how much you get out and about

I have a 3yo and an 18mo so this is a fairly distant memory but for me, especially with DS i needed to get out of the house at least once a day and definitely needed fresh air. I didn’t hesitate to wake DS if I needed to get out to a group. It helped that he was a shit sleeper so i might have only got another 15mins sleep out of him anyway but would have been late or missed the group/meet up by then.

Fresh air is so important for you and baby so I’d pop him in the sling/buggy at least once a day for a walk. As long as you are both wrapped up it will be fine and you will feel better for jt