Desperate for help: DS won't poo on the toilet.

[QueenAmongstMen]

I'm looking for any advice and suggestions that anyone had to offer as I feel completely stumped with how to deal with this problem and it's causing frustration to me and DH.

Our son is 3 years and 8 months old and absolutely refuses to poo on either a potty or in a toilet. He cries at the mere suggestion and gets very distressed if we sit him on the toilet and ask him to just try.

We have tried bribes, cajoling, reassuring, Apps, positive encouragement, books etc but nothing is working.

He is still in a nappy at night too which is always soaked in the morning hence why we haven't attempted not using them overnight. I was previously told on here that nappies should only be stopped overnight when they are pretty much dry the next morning as it shows hormonally the body is developed enough to not urinate during sleep. I'm not sure how true that is though?

Anyway, whenever DS needs a poo he comes to us with a nappy, says he wants a Poo and so we put it on him.

We went through a phase of not having nappies in the day and telling him if he needed a poo then he would have to use the toilet like a big boy but all he would do then is hold on to it until his bedtime nappy was put on and just do the poo then.

Me and DH just don't know what to do. He's been toilet trained for just under a year now yet still refuses to poo in the toilet.

It's just so disheartening and I find it embarrassing too as all my friend's children have been out of nappies a long time at this age - not needing them for poos or overnight.

Has anyone else been in this situation? It's really getting me down.

I want to stop using nappies overnight as it seems wrong at this age but I don't know how to go about that either as he's still urinating a lot overnight.

I feel a bit like failure really

Hi Op. Sounds like we are pretty much in the same boat. My ds turned 4 at the weekend, up until recently he was point blank refusing to do a poo in the toilet at all and would only do it once his night nappy was on.
We are now at the stage where he will sit on the toilet and try at bedtime, probably producing a poo about once a week. And two nights ago we had a massive breakthrough, he called us up when he needed a poo and went to the toilet and did it!!! Sadly back to the nappy last night but fingers crossed for a repeat.
It's has been a long slow process and your dh needs to understand that it may be for your ds too and give him a bit of time.
Poo goes to pooland has helped us too as well as a book about how the body works, he just loves explaining to everyone how food turns into poo in your tummy
Sounds like your ds is making progress now, good luck.

I waited it out, ds was often bare on the bottom half at home, and eventually just sat on the potty
The nights sort themselves out.
Please don't feel like a failure, is just that they are all different. And don't fret, he won't be going of to university with a pack of nappies to poo in. It will happen when it needs to.