I need some help/advice
I feel like I’m failing as a parent towards my DD, we have a lot of issues with her at home. I’ll try not to drip feed, although I’ve been unintentionally guilty of it in the past.
DD is 9, she lives with me and my DP (not her father)
She has always seen her Dad regularly but not consistently. He has his own issues, and stops contact for a while when he feels he’s not getting his own way in any aspect of his life not just during arguments between us. I know this affects her, we can have some nice reassuring talks and I feel she copes well considering her age. But.....
She is defiant, dis-respectful, attention seeking, annoying on purpose and everything is a control issue between us. She constantly has an attitude or is sarcastic. She has to be the boss all the time.
I have tried many things over the years, but every few months she gets worse.this started about 2years ago after contact was resumed after her Dad had a holiday at HMPS.
I have tried, ignoring bad behaviour but get told I don’t care about her or that I don’t give her enough attention. Trying to reward good behaviour, but she will manipulate the small things every child should do to get gifts. Having a talk, which works well for a short term but not long term and most of the time she just wants to convince me that she’s right and I’m wrong.having just mummy time but the past few times we scheduled something she dumped me for going out with friends, reward chart, but doesn’t care about not getting stickers in the midst of a tantrum. I have smacked her on the odd occasion but have decided I don’t like it and it doesn’t work.
Does anyone think I should maybe contact a counsellor for her? She blames me for everything obviously because I’m her mother and our relationship is suffering.