PIL took batteries out their smoke alarms

[DirtyDancing]

AIBU to be very very cross? I don't want loads of traffic and risk this going 'public' so am posting in parenting for perspective and handling advice really.

We have been staying at my PIL since the kids were born and a few times since we were married. My eldest (4) has started staying on his own in the last 6 months, often with his cousins. All of us have stayed over at the weekend.

Today I was cooking and burnt some food badly. Smoke everywhere. The alarms should have, but didn't, go off. My FIL told me he took the batteries out. I asked when. He said 2 years ago. I told him that it was very irresponsible and that I was very cross he has put the lives of his Grandchildren at risk. He told me I was over reacting.

He is an intelligent man & well off enough so on both accounts should know better and can afford to have working alarms.

I am livid and it's caused a big fall out all round which is incredibly sad.

If he contacts his local fire service they might come out and fit some of the new type of alarms with the batteries with 10 year lives and the less sensitive smoke detectors. This service is usually free of charge and the detectors have been specially designed because so many people have smoke detectors with defunct batteries or take the batteries out because they constantly go off.

Some people are stupid. Do you not remember Grenfell? No accident caused by carelessness there.

We have about five smoke alarms and a couple of carbon monoxide alarms. We also have a fire plan for which adult is going for which children and the children also know what to do if they find the fire first. We've adapted the plan as they've got older as now they are all at secondary school so don't need carrying out. One child doesn't agree with the plan for the animals but it is what it is.

You are not overreacting at all. I would be furious. You need to stand strong on this and not visit again (even during the day) until the situation is rectified.

Exactly Elephants. Just mention Grenfell to him.

Can you remind him that there isn't a single person who has died in an accidental house fire that thought it would ever happen to them. Everybody thinks it'll be somebody else, and then they end up dead. If anybody thought it would happen to them, they'd fit alarms and they'd have a better chance at getting out, but they didn't think it would happen to them and now they're dead.
Blunt, but it's the truth.
When I was a child, a friend of mine died in a house fire. She was only 10. I'm pretty sure their family also thought it wouldn't happen to them and that the alarms were optional so it didn't matter. Imo, they shouldn't be optional.
Just drum it into him that nobody thinks it'll be them until the day they have a fire and a loved one dies.

Having survived a house fire thanks to my alarm going off, no, you're not overreacting and yes, he's being an idiot ;)
Good alarms are so cheap now. I recommend the Fireangel SO-601 which is under a tenner on Amazon and won't go off when you burn the toast ;)

Why so much drama. Your husband their son goes over and changes them all next Sunday visit. End of story.

You're on active threads now OP this may not be what you want

YANBU and actually making a big song and dance about it might make him think to change the battery next time not just take it out

OldWitch and how can you be sure the PILs won’t remove them again?

Just seen a story where it appears mum, dad and five of their eight children have died in a fire. The whole house gone .

I’m with you, not safe. Where do they live? In Greater Manchester the fire service will visit for free, install alarms (that let you burn toast without going off) and give general advice.

All the people I know who take the batteries out do so because they sound off needlessly or batteries died and not replaced. Only a die hard conspiracy theorist might remove them entirely.
Either way, just update his alarms end of story. Every Valentine’s Day remember to replace the batteries for those you love.

We had a house fire 6 years ago. I’d left a food processor plugged in and it caught fire. We were told categorically if we hadn’t had smoke detectors they’d have been pulling our bodies out. Fires aren’t always caused by carelessness, they can’t aowsys be predicted.

I’d feel the same as you OP. I’d say the kids wouldn’t be coming again until it’s sorted. I’d offer to help them sort it but no way I’d let my DC sleep somewhere without smoke detectors after what happened to us.

Wow thanks everyone for all your comments. I feel vindicated in my reaction. These things do save lives. They have saved lives of some of you have responded.

To the point about 'all the drama' you clearly miss the point. My PIL have smoke alarms, they removed the batteries. Removed them. I need to be assure they won't do this again. He's a grown and very able man who need r put his own bloody batteries in his own smoke alarms and be responsible - he is not a child.

To everyone else- thanks and let's all check our alarms tonight before bed x