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Original poster

approaching your childminder about what they feed your child...

53 replies

PregnantGrrrl · 13/04/2007 08:06

Bearing in mind that she's otherwise fantastic and also the only childminder in my area, my childminder has fed my almost 10mth old some things i'm not happy with. (i always pack his own lunch BTW)

a few weeks ago her daughter was off school and wanted to go to McDonald's, so DS went too obviously, and she let him eat some fries. DP collects DS so he told me when i got home, and i wasn't too chuffed. decided not to say anything because it hadn't happened before, and i'd say something if it was suggested again.

she also gives him wotsits and quavers sometimes, which i don't.

this week, when he didn't want the lunch i'd packed him, she gave him a sausage roll (as the others (older) were having one) He had an upset tummy that night, i think caused by a processed, salty snack made with pigs knobs and ears (probably!)

I'm not very good at 'confronting' people, but obviously i need to say something. Does anyone have any experience of approaching their childminder about this?

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Taylormama · 13/04/2007 08:09

if you are packing a lunch why is she feeding him extra/different stuff???? It doesn't have to be confrontational - what is wrong with saying i would like you to only feed my DS the food i pack him - no more hassle for her to give him a rice cake out of a packet than a quaver.

Original poster

PregnantGrrrl · 13/04/2007 08:11

she gives him the lunch usually- i think the fries were an addition, and the sausage roll was because he refused what i'd made him.

she gives him snacks though- sometimes it's toast or a banana, which is fine, but sometimes it's not.

perhaps i should start packing all his snacks aswell

I know it's daft, but i don't want to offend her. she's brilliant apart from these instances.

OP posts:

Taylormama · 13/04/2007 08:15

i would send snacks - no harm in mentioning it to her .... the odd quaver isn't an issue but long term i don't think salty snacks for a 10 month old should be encouraged. Also, if he doesn't want what you pack, then does she re-offer. Sometimes my DS just isn't hungry but if you offer 10 mins later he will wolf it down.

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Twinmummyx2 · 13/04/2007 08:15

It's a tricky one isn't it. I think as his mum you have every right to decide what he has for his lunch...and esp as you are providing it.
I wouldn't be esp bothered about the crisps as long as there aren't too many, but he is a bit young for the fries and sausage roll me thinks....

It is tricky though, i have been a childminder and it was hard sometimes at lunch as the little boy i was looking after..his lunch had diff things to mine and it would cause arguments with my 2 childen..but your son is only a baby still...easier to get the good stuff into him now, as they will start demanding when toddlers anyway.

I would say something-maybe say you would like him to eat his lunch provided so you can keep an eye on whether he is eating enough.x

Original poster

PregnantGrrrl · 13/04/2007 08:24

i don't really mind the quavers, i don't give him things like that, but it's not the end of the world.

i think i'll start packing all his snacks too, and just say i'd rather he eats what i pack until he's older.

he goes to nursery one day a week at the moment, and he refused his lunch there yesterday, so they gave him a jar of bolognese instead, which is fine. when i filled in his forms there though, i did write a list of things he wasn't to be fed (chocolates, sweets, crisps, anything fried) so i don't think they had much choice!

OP posts:

Laura032004 · 13/04/2007 08:26

I'd say if you want control over his snacks, then you've got to send them with him.

FillyjonkIsMilitantAboutFruit · 13/04/2007 08:28

no you're right, she shouldn't give him stuff you don't want him to have, unless she's been upfront about it and its part of the agreement you have with her.

whether or not quavers etc are ok for a 10 mo (I would say utterly not, aside from their cheesy foulness there is also the salt issue) is a side issue, the problem is that you have made an agreement with her and she is not sticking to it.

Original poster

PregnantGrrrl · 13/04/2007 08:31

that's the thing, i wasn't so food-nazi with her as i was with the nursery, as she gave me the impression she gave healthy snacks. i'd say 70% of the time she does, but not 100%.

she bought him a little easter egg too which she gave to DP. she did say she knew he was a bit small, but she'd bought for the other kids, and didn't want to leave him out. I ate it anyway!

OP posts:

FillyjonkIsMilitantAboutFruit · 13/04/2007 08:36

oh god being a food nazi with your kids is utterly your perogative. I do think when you can avoid them eating shite without creating an issue its well to do so, and I do object to this idea a lot of people have that revolting brightly coloured fizzy things should be sold to kids as some sort of treat.

Its quite important to me that healthy food is offered communally, actually. I don't like sending my kid in with food, I don't like him to be singled out just because I don't want him living on hob nobs.

I have thusly chosen a nusery where all meals are prepared by kids and eaten together. We are talking soup, fruit salad, bread etc not sodding chocolate crispies with cheapo cooking "chocolate". Its rather nice.

Twinmummyx2 · 13/04/2007 08:44

I love quavers! they are mighty fine!

I do know what you mean about the salt thingy, but i think they are better now than what they used to be....i don't mind mine having them, they eat tons of fruit and veg anyways..and no other salt stuff so a few dosen't matter.

But every parent has the right to decide what their own child eats....and just because a child is with a minder dosen't mean the parent can't control it.

Provide a variety of snacks for the day-they do start to get bored with foods at this age...one min they like something-the next they don't...so put in diff bits and i am sure it will be fine.xx

saltire · 13/04/2007 08:46

Well, from a childminder's point of view, if I had taken older children to McD's,I would take your childs lunchbox and have given him that. However I would probably also have given some fries, not many just one or two - so he was having his lunch and then a few fries. Unless I had it written down, or parent had specifically told me not to give him fries. About the sausage roll, if he hadn't wanted his lunch then she possibly felt he needed something to eat, so he wouldn't go hungry. I would probably have given cheese on toast, or a sandwhich, purely because I don't like sausage rolls so never have them in the house. You need to tell her what to give him as a snack. I provide snacks for my mindees, every morning snack is fruit, usually followed by breadsticks or cracker. If you aren't happy then you need to discuss it with her, maybe she doesn't know you don't want him fed these things

FillyjonkIsMilitantAboutFruit · 13/04/2007 08:48

i don't get this

why don't CMs just provide HEALTHY food?

I can't be the only parent who doesn't use them bascially cos I don't want my kids pumped full of fruit shoots, yet all the CMs I have observed basically seem to do this.

I am generally very pro CM, and always suprised by this, a good nursery does they whole home cooked malarky, so why are CMs not trying to compete?

FillyjonkIsMilitantAboutFruit · 13/04/2007 08:49

(and don't all jump on me and say "well I give healthy food"

Come with me to the park or soft play and watch what the local CMs are actually giving their charges. It shocks me and puts me off, tbh.

saltire · 13/04/2007 08:50

Fillyjonk -The vast majority of CM's do provide healthy food.

saltire · 13/04/2007 08:52

In ref erence to your park question, perhaps the mindees parents sent their lunch and snacks for the day. I have one parent whose food ideals vary significantly from day to day. one day mindee will be sent with a dairylea lunchable and a dunker in his lunchbox, the next a wholemeal roll with tuna and salad. The only fruit he gets during the day are with me and at his playgroup becasue his mum never sends it

fireflyfairy2 · 13/04/2007 08:56

My c/minder is the type to give fruit as a mid morning snack, whatever I have sent for lunch ie: Veg soup, some pasta, whatever I have made the night before etc..

She will then give mid-afternoon snack of fruit or a cheesestring..now, when she told me she give ds a cheesestring I asked her not to do it again, she said it was still cheese, I said I didn't want to argue as we agree on everything else, but I just didn't want ds to have any ever again

She looked at me like I had 2 heads & said "Well, the rest of the kids get them, it's not fair on xxxx" So from then on I sent some raisins or flapjack for ds.

You need to explain to her why you don't want your ds eating the snacks

FillyjonkIsMilitantAboutFruit · 13/04/2007 08:57

saltire, i am not having a go, i am seeing this day in day out

i am seeing CMs plonk themself down on the bench, hand a pack of pricerite custard cremes to the nearest 2 yo and get on with reading hello.

I am seeing CM bring 2 litre bottles of coke to softplay and distribute it among their preschool charges.

I am not having a go at CM's generally

but if anyone wanted to set up a childmindery in cardiff and offer home cooked food and so forth, they would have my business.

I do see CM's as professionals and get annoyed when they don't behave as such

saltire · 13/04/2007 09:00

Well CM's like that give the rest of us a bad name. I can't believe they get away with it, and can only assume that they mind children too young to tell their parents.
Coke! Ok yes the odd biscuit, I sometimes give biscuits to my mindees,but never fizzy drink of any kind. As for the magazines, well i hope one of their charges never hurts theirselves.
To be honest, perhaps you should phone OFSTED and mention it, it will keep going on unless someone stops it!

FillyjonkIsMilitantAboutFruit · 13/04/2007 09:05

would ofsted help?

i just think there are variants in the idea of "healthy diet". I am just suprised that the CMs i've met seem to often differ so much from nurseries on this. eg none of ds's nurseries gave squash to his agew group
(say under 2s )all the CMs I've interviewed basically think its ok and most gave me a hard time about having to pour a glass of water.

FillyjonkIsMilitantAboutFruit · 13/04/2007 09:06

(and I KNOW its not all CMs btw, I am seeing some great ones on MN)

WelshBoris · 13/04/2007 09:08

Pregnantgrrrl did you used to be detentiongrrl?

I CATd you

saltire · 13/04/2007 09:13

I'm sure OFSTED would be interested, I know in Scotland people can call the Care Commission (who regulate CMs) if they have concerns.
I must admit I give squash to my mindees, but thats becasue 2 of them would dehydrate otherwise as they will not drink anything else. mindee3 though only has a very small glass of water every day.

FillyjonkIsMilitantAboutFruit · 13/04/2007 09:14

ofsted care that mindees are given coke?

I mean, thats good but

am suprised.

GamePointGary · 13/04/2007 09:17

If you are really that bothered please speak to her before approaching ofsted, I dont know why anyoen wouldnt just 'say' tbh. She isnt a mind reader after all

zippitippitoes · 13/04/2007 09:21

my dd is having exactly this problem with her cm who gives her charges sweets from the shop at 9.00am, fruit shoots when they go out which is alot and crisps, coke etc etc

dd is worrying that he doesn't actually have proper food and he comes home hungry

cm says he won't eat his food

yet he came to my house the other day and sat with me and ate roast dinner with his veg without any problem...we cooked it and he was excited and he was saying i like kikken

I think his cm spends alot of time out socialising and the kids get fed on the hoof

and she just takes an easy route

dd doesn't know what to do as cm is now saying he is up and down or hyper and he isn't like this at home

he is also doing things like spitting

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